Interesting realization

I'd actually come to this conclusion long ago, and it might even be offensive to some, but I'm willing to share it here and see who comments (or doesn't).

Teaching is what keeps me from wanting kids. As long as I'm a teacher, I will not have a child (on purpose).

Allow me to explain.

I love kids, I really do. But being around them allllll daaaaaaaaaaaaaay is a workout in itself. I can't spend all day with kids and then go home and give my kids the attention they deserve. It's just not gonna happen. I'm too exhausted by the end of the school day to come home and play with a toddler.

I'm sure that if the situation presented itself I'd feel differently. From what I've heard, most moms count the hours so they can get back to their little ones and resent that they aren't the SAHM they never wanted to be until now. And when it's your child, almost every movement and sound is precious, and not the obnoxious moans and movements made by an 8th grader who's been ready to graduate since July.

However, at this moment in time, I really think that teaching has kept me from wanting to get knocked up. When I come home, it's quiet. It's a glorious, wonderful quiet. Just the low hum of the fish tank and the rumble of the trains rolling by. My oh my is it wonderful!

I'm sure the time will come when teaching just won't keep those pangs at bay and then I'll have some serious decisions to make. (or heck! Maybe they'll have been made for me!) Do I want to wake up with a child, go to work and be surrounded by hundreds of kids, go home to another one or two, and fall asleep only to wake up 2 hours later to feed a child?

To me, that sounds like hell. But that's rightnow. Maybe someday rightnow will fade into backthen and rightnow will mean Iwantababyrightnow. Hell, it almost has to, right? Just about all the married teachers at my school have kids, and some have grandkids. AND they're still teaching! That says something, doesn't it? It says you love your job, and you love it so much that you're willing to keep going despite all the worries that float through your mind. It says that determination can help you do a lot. It says that teaching kids can't keep having your own kids on the backburner forever. And to me, it says that even though you're around kids all the time, the desire to have your own is greater than all the evidence that tells you to close up shop and give up that little pipe dream.

I don't know. All I do know is that when the quiet that waits for me when I get home is pure, unadulterated bliss. Or is that unachilderated? Whatever. Bliss is bliss.