Monday, October 26, 2009

Stay healthy!

Flu season--H1N1 or seasonal--has hit my school like a mack truck on a mission. The last few days have been ridiculous in terms of the number of students missing.

Each Fall we always get a ton of kids who have the sniffles or colds and coughs. It happens when the weather turns and when the air gets damp. Colds just appear, kinda like morning fog. This year it's another story altogether. We have a ton of kids out sick with flu-like symptoms. Thirteen from just one class were out on Friday, and 18 are missing from a class of 26 today. Unbelievable.

I've officially become known as The Germ Nazi by my older students. As soon as one class leaves I start wiping down desks and spraying keyboards. In previous years I've only had to do it at the end of the day or between classes when I have an hour or two of nothing, but this year I'm not taking any chances. My room is a germ-free zone and I intend to keep it that way!

We've been taking precautions as a school: reminding kids to wash their hands with soap and water, giving them hand sanitizer after using the handrails, covering mouths with tissues when they cough and sneeze, and just being digilent about washing down frequently touched surfaces. It won't solve the problem completely, but it will keep it at bay for a little while longer. Hell, if I can make it to Parent-Teacher Conferences without feeling like I'm on death's doorstep, I'll consider it a victory. That's only 2 weeks, 4 days from now. I CAN DO IT!!!

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Ah, progress reports

I am of the belief that the progress report is a brilliant and senseless invention on the part of the educational system.

It exists to show students and parents where a child stands halfway through the quarter and if they can raise their grade or if it will slip if a student continues to keep up their current pattern of behavior. In theory it's a piece of genius. In actuality a student's grade can go from an A to an F in 5 weeks if they really want it to, so a student who has an A at progress reports might not keep it come report cards.

For teachers, they're helpful because you'll notice a student struggling and then the entire quarter isn't a complete wash, but at the same time they're pretty time consuming. Not as time consuming as, say, report cards, but they still require a lot of effort. You need to add up grades and decide where a student is and if they're in danger of slipping. You also need to write up behavior notes for particular students, and some parents request that their child get a progress report no matter what, so you need to make sure you don't miss those kids.

And for those in my position, you need to track down the teachers and give them grades ASAP. You might get lucky and then there are some who have grades done 2 weeks before they're due, thus rendering your comments and hard work completely pointless.

As a parent, I'd look forward to getting a progress report. As a teacher, I usually want one or two more weeks to crank them out. However, in the first quarter we're all a little more motivated, so getting them done is a chore, but then it's over and you can move on to the next lesson. In the 4h quarter, you have to complete your grades and then come up with about a week's worth of lessons and homework to keep them busy and working and on their toes as long as possible. And lemme tell ya, it's not easy once the warm weather sets in and you see the sun for the first time in ages. The kids are climbing the walls to get out, and the teachers aren't far behind.

::sigh:: Back to the grind. Three classes done, 3 more to go.

Friday, September 4, 2009

What. A. Long. Week.

Seriously. It's Friday! Friday! Yippee!

Not that I don't enjoy my job, but after this week I'm looking forward to the weekend so much. I haven't been sleeping well lately so I've been off my game this week, and I started the week off a little uneasy because of my "unpleasantness" last week. Yesterday was especially rough because I hadn't slept well, so the whole day felt long and it took me a while to get myself ready, even once I'd made it to the office and fired up my laptop.

I slept last night, and boy did I sleep hard! I'm so glad I did, too. It's before 9:00 and I'm thinking clearly and have a game plan and to do list for today! It wasn't until noonish that I looked at my desk and realized I had no idea what my plan was for the day. Unfortunately I'm behind as a result of that, but since I'm actually awake this morning I'm not uncomfortable with the amount of work that lays before me.

And Monday is Labor Day. WOO. HOO. I'd always appreciated this holiday as a day off from school. It was one more day where I could sleep in and ignore my homework and go get coffee. As a card-carrying adult, I REALLY appreciate this day. Yes, it's day off and I still get the same perks and benefits as before, but it's so much nicer to sleep in and be able to take a day off knowing it's a day meant to give hard working people a bit of a break. Now if only we could get the school's calendar to start after Labor Day....

Monday, August 31, 2009

A recap of sorts

Oy. That pretty much sums up the last week. It's been an oy kind of week.

If life works out splendidly for me, I'm going back to grad school full time. If life works out unsplendidly for me, I'm going to work here full time next year (provided I can) and go to school part-time. I DON'T want to take out loans to do it, but I will if I have to. I don't want to wait much longer or I'll be starting a family sometime after I'm 30, and while I'm okay with that, I think I might be the only one. My husband doesn't want to wait that long (neither do I) and in order for us to start a family sooner rather than later, I need to go to grad school. I can't put off doing what I want to do forever, or I'll never do it and always regret that I did it.

Anyway...the last few days.

I've got posts of Monday and Tuesday up, so you can read those for yourself. Tuesdays classes were okay. I enjoyed meeting the new kids and getting used to a new routine. I had fun introducing them to a new set of skills. I made another kid cry on Tuesday, but I've accepted the fact that I'll always make kids cry. Whatever.

I wasn't ready for work on Monday, but that was fine with me. I'm never ready on the first day and I never have to be. I was, however, ready for my first class on Tuesday. I've been ready since then. I didn't push myself to be ready either, because I knew I had another 24 hours to get ready.

On Wednesday, I got to school and checked my email. About 10 minutes before I meet the 5th grade for the first time, I read an email from my boss. It was, to say the least, jarring.

I won't C&P the email here, but it definitely wasn't worded well. Basically, it stated that I've been scattered and "brusque an curt" with my coworkers and that I seemed unhappy here. Also, it stated that my "leaving at 3:30" made my boss wonder how well I was handling the new job description. It ended with, "Please see me."

To say that I almost lost it right then and there doesn't even come close. I started shaking and tearing up. But I obviously didn't have time to see my boss right then and there. I had 10 minutes to shake myself straight before I met the 5th grade.

Well, that didn't happen. I plugged through that class. I was okay with the 6th grade. By the end of the morning I had managed to forget that my boss was pissed at me and I was able to get through my morning.

Rather than go see my boss right away, I chose to see her at the end of the day. I had no idea what to even expect, so I busied myself in "my office" and managed to do a little more to occupy myself. When I was ready, I pulled together 10 pages of press releases, letters, and other things I'd worked on in just 2 afternoons. I made copies and brought them down with me. I figured that if my boss was going to tell me that I "wasn't handling" the job well that I could throw down those 10 pages and say, "You want MORE than this in just 2 days?" Sure 10 pages is nothing for a marketing director at a firm, but our school is a small operation. 10 pages is pretty damn good for 2 afternoons.

Anyway, my boss told me that 2 of my colleagues and 2 parents came to her and told her ON MONDAY AFTERNOON that I didn't seem happy and I wasn't smiling and blah blah blah. That's when I lost it. First of all, I told my boss that I'd been trying to get myself settled in my office and get myself ready for the week. I was unable to do that in part because my colleagues kept finding me for tech problems. One such colleague started bothering me a week before because she'd managed to unplug every cord in her classroom and completely disconnected herself from the network. Then she wanted to be online AT THAT MOMENT and got disgruntled when I couldn't help her. She chose to bother me all. freaking. day. on Monday until she got her way. When she didn't, she ran to my boss to tell her I was "unhappy" and "mean". At least, that's what I suspect. As for another colleague, my boss has the tendency to find other people to either back up or refute her suspicions, so if she asked someone else who'd found me on Monday, they probably would have said the same thing.

And let me say that if I was "curt", it was probably deserved. First of all, I fixed everyone's tech issues before I could open my lesson plan book. Second, not one of them said thank you. Out of all these "colleagues" of mine, no one said thank you. Not one. Third, for whatever reason I had a killer headache on Monday and it lasted throughout the week. So yes, I wasn't happy on Monday but I really didn't see a reason to be. And I wasn't prepared, but it wasn't as if I didn't try to be or at least give off the impression that I was.

My boss was pretty surprised that no one said thank you. "Are you sure?" I told her that I'd started looking for SOMEONE to say thank you and I think I got one mumbled from a kid when I held the door open. Yeah, so exactly why should I be nice and doormatty for my coworkers when they aren't going to say thank you for putting their needs ahead of my own?

THEN I chose to address the "leaving early" issue. We (my husband and I) are a one-car family. It isn't necessarily by choice (we wouldn't be if we didn't have the car payment and if my car hadn't been stolen a year before our wedding) but it's been pretty fantastic and has worked out for the most part. Because I work further away, I take the car to work most mornings. I drop off my husband when it's raining or snowing or he has a lot to carry on a particular day. I pick him up for the same reasons. He works in the public schools, and because of all their red tape and silly rules here in Chicago, he can't legally be in his building after 4 p.m. If he is he gets kicked out, and if he chooses to stay the school and the district isn't liable for anything that happens to him after that time. It's dumb, but he's gotta get out by that time. So I HAVE to leave at 3:45 to get him. I don't have a choice.

When I explained that for my boss, I think she felt bad. I'm okay with that. The insinuation that I'm not doing my job or not handling my job is too much for me. It's one thing if I'm leaving at 3:00 and nothing's getting done. It's another if I'm leaving when I have to.

The other thing about that is that my predecessor used to leave around 3:30 everyday and no one said a word to her about it. So she left earlier and it was okay (probably because she wasn't teaching) but I stay later and it's NOT okay? B.S.

So my boss is fine with me leaving "early" now. That's a relief. If she wasn't, she'd have to deal, or I'd be taking the bus home at night, which is fine but isn't always safe in this neighborhood after dark.

But anyway....basically, my boss said that I was "frazzled" (duh...it's practically my name) and "unprepared" and that I seemed stressed. YES. I was stressed. I had to deal with my stuff, everyone else's crap, tech issues, AND find a way to be busy in that new office. So yes, I was stressed. And I was pretty okay with that until someone "tattled on me."

And yes, the whole school knows. Why? Because I work in a gossipy place. Teachers are really no better than students.

Everyone's been walking on eggshells around me for the past week. Bonus: no one's bothering me with stupid stuff. Minus: I'm pretty sure everyone now thinks I'm a ticking time bomb. The few friends (or coworkers I'm friendly with) around here have been staying away. It's possible that I inadvertently gave them the brush off last week. But here's the deal: if you're worried about me (my boss says that's the reason people approached her), why not ask ME if I'm okay? I would have been honest and said, "No, my head is killing me today." Or, "Yeah, I'm not at my best but I'll be fine tomorrow." Instead I've got to deal with damage control.

I was furious when I went home on Wednesday. I felt betrayed by my coworkers and I felt as though my boss didn't think I was doing my job. She DID say that she never once regretted her decision to hire me (very green, very under-prepared, and with zero experience working with small kids) which helped. But I'm still stinging, and that happened a week ago. I SHOULD let it go and move on, but I can't. I feel like my every move is being watched and analyzed. My boss has asked me everyday since our meeting "how I'm feeling." Well, today is Monday and I'm feeling a bit frantic but I feel that way every Monday. I feel that way all the time! No I'm not prepared YET but I will be. My Mondays are always rough.

Oy. Last week was over and I feel a million times better this week. However, the week is still young. I'm guarding myself against another comment or something. I can almost promise that'll happen, but hopefully I'll be able to deal with it and not break some skulls or something.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Today....

sucked. This whole week has been a bit of a battle, but today especially sucked. I don't have the energy to get into it now, but believe me when I say it was enough to pack up my classroom and leave. Ugh...so frustrating.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

1 day down, 170+ more to go!

That's a depressing number, but when you break it down into weeks and months, it doesn't seem so bad. At least that's what I'm telling myself!

Yesterday was our first day back at school. It was only a half day, so it was over and done in just a handful of hours, which was fine by me. I was tired to begin with and I'd had a headache all day, so seeing the kids leave made me slightly joyous. I'd also had a few run-ins with kids and just needed a few hours of childless freedom. I had 2 new prechool children burst into tears upon meeting me (ah, the trauma of the first days of school) and one little boy demanded to know why I put his mother in jail. Oy....

Today I met most of the kindergarten class. The teacher's aide steeled up and took in a sharp breath when I asked about a particular student. He can be troublesome, but it's not that he's a bad kid, he's just curious and struggles to listen to the rules. When matched up with our teacher who finds that the rules are what makes our little ones tick and move swiftly through the day, well.....I have a feeling this kid will be spending a lot of time at the back of the line this year (that's where the naughty kids stand).

I teach my first official class of the 2009-2010 school year in about 15 minutes. I *think* I'm ready, and if I'm not....well, there's not much I can do about it now, is there? It's a little overwhelming to think about starting another school year about a month after I finally got some time off, but....well, I'll survive. My other responsibilities are the ones that are weighing pretty heavily on me today, so I'm distracted, that's for sure.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Back to work

BOO. I have been struggling to wake up and get it in gear this week. I missed an inservice on Monday, which I was FINE with. And Tuesday and Wednesday we had some more mandatory meetings and we've been in and out of our classrooms all week trying to get things as ready as possible before we're bombared with students for the year.

I'm feeling different about this school year than last. My first year, I was apprehensive and excited and ready to take the school by storm. My second year, I was even more nervous and apprehensive and ready to run as far away as possible from my job because I felt so ridiculously underqualified. Last year, I was really looking forward to the year and had grandiose plans for everything under my jurisdiction.

This year....I dunno. I feel terribly underprepared for every aspect of my job(s), across the board. My head is swimming a little bit, truth be told. I don't really know where to begin, and though I've been here before, I can't remember how I started. I've got to get myself together and I picked up what feels like every pad of notepaper left on the southwest side so I can help myself make to do lists and get organized.

I haven't really tackled my new job yet, and that's bad. But I'm feeling great about being able to teach again, and that's good. I think part of the reason I'm optimistic is that this may be my last year teaching, so why not make it a good one, right? (I'll get to "my last year" in another post.)

I'm really loving my classroom these days. I've got plenty of posters and colors up, and I've found THE most amazing letters for my classroom: STICKY letters! Let me explain:

You know those punch-out letters that you see on boards everywhere? They're awesome, but they're EXPENSIVE. I'm talking $8-$10 a pack and that's at the teacher stores where they're (supposedly) cheaper. I discovered my sticky letters by complete accident, and I have to tell you that I'm THRILLED I made a dumb mistake.

We went to our local Lakeshore Learning store (local is a relative term...it's local if you consider the southside local...it's not local considering it's close to 50 blocks away...) a few weeks ago and I dove into the bins of 20% off letters. My school has a letterpress, but it can be a pain to use, and you're essentially punching out pieces of paper that can be difficult to work with. I decided that for my 3rd year I'd splurge and buy myself some letters considering the money I'd saved using the letterpress for the last 2 years (and some painful do-it-yourself letters from my year at the boarding school). I picked up some 4 inch letters in yellow and called it a day.

Today as I was unwrapping my pack of letters I was trying to figure out a way to punch them out and initially cursed myself for buying letters that had no perforations. THEN I looked at the paper insert attached to my letters and saw the words, "Restickable, reusable, and staple-free!"

HOLY SWEET JESUS MOTHER OF GOD THESE ARE DELIGHTFUL. I can't even begin to explain the joy that comes from just peeling a letter off the backing, throwing it on my bulletin board, and being able to peel it off and reposition it when I find that (as always) my letters are slightly off kilter. AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!

(It's really the little things for me.)


So I found a quote to use for my bulletin board and realized that I didn't have enough letters, so after work today The Husband and I went on a grand voyage to Lakeshore to buy myself another pack of these marvelous letters to finish off my quote. That sucked, but these letters are pretty worth the journey. I had decided a long time ago that whenever I quit teaching that I'd leave a number of my supplies to the person who would be filling my position. But these letters? Oh no. They're coming with me to my next adventure. I don't care if I have to use them on the front of my house! I'd sooner give up my job than these letters. (Don't speak too quickly, Ange....)

So...that's that. Hopefully I'll remember to post photos of my classroom soon. I really like the way it turned out. It's got plenty of reading material for when the kids are bored.

I'll be up there for a bit tomorrow, and then I'm ditching to enjoy the last. days. of. summer. School starts Monday at 8:00. God, that's depressing.....