Wow....that was fast. I just had my last class with the 8th grade. Unfortunately for them, I was correct in assuming that they wouldn't complete their last project. At least half of them didn't turn it in, and the ones that DID turn it in freaked the bleep out because they realized it was the last class and their projects sucked. Too darn bad...not my problem that you're so totally focused on graduation (a month early) that you didn't get your work done when I asked you to. I would have given them today as a free period if they hadn't blown off and used actual classes as free periods. I swear, those kids are putting gray hairs on my little head.
Right at the end of class, my color printer was acting up and freaking out and not printing at all. When it did start printing, one boy and one girl were left in the room. The first papers that came out of the printer didn't belong to the boy, and he was waiting patiently. When the printer jammed, he paused dramatically and said, "Damn!" I SHOULD have given him a demerit, but all I did was giggle and say he's lucky I don't care anymore. It's their last week. I'm sure they could all get 17 demerits and it wouldn't phase them in the slightest.
All in all I'm pretty proud of this class. They're generally good students, even the ones who struggle. There isn't anyone in class who doesn't turn in work. The students who struggle are the ones with learning disabilities and who attent Title 1 classes, and even THEY turn in good, thoughtful work. This class was pretty rare. They all got along and they all were pretty nice to one another. They weren't angels, but they also weren't the kind of kids who make young teachers consider early retirement, either. There are some pretty huge egos in this class, especially because so many of them are strong contenders for the end of the year academic awards. Unfortunately, there are only so many awards to be given out. I finally picked a boy and girl to give my award to, and I'd thought about it for weeks. Last year I had 2 contenders. My first option was to give it to the student with the highest average, but that student was light years ahead of everyone else and was getting a few awards. My next option was the girl who made the biggest leaps and bounds and really grew as a student. Unfortunately, that choice was derailed by their homeroom teacher because she didn't "think she deserved it." Oy. So I gave it to my 3rd choice, who wasn't a bad kid but had performed steadily throughout the year. He didn't make tremendous leaps like the other student, but he was pretty good. This year, I'm really satisfied with my 2 choices, and I think they'll be surprised when they get the awards.
It's pretty crazy how quickly this year is winding down. I can't believe it, but I only teach about 10 more classes before the year ends. Wow.
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
Showing posts with label students. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
Home Schooling
One of the subjects I'm asked about more often than you'd think is, "What's your opinion on home schooling?" It's odd for me since I've rarely come in contact with homeschoolers but being in a school setting for the last few years has definitely shed some light on the subject for me.
When I was a child I wanted desperately to be home-schooled. I hated wearing my uniform, hated school lunches, hated the bells. I craved flexibility and math lessons in my pajamas. That's the "dream" of home-school for so many, but it turns out to not be the reality for the kids I've met who were home-schooled. Some have had tutors come to them daily, some have "classroom" areas set up in their homes, and some even have a regular school day schedule. In college I met a young woman who had been home-schooled in a regular day school, just in a private classroom with other home-school students. Because they were attending the school they had to wear the required uniform, and they also met with different teachers throughout the day.
As most teachers, I disagree with the theory of home-schooling for a number of reasons. First of all, while I am an educator I would never dream that I have all the knowledge I need to teach my child everything they need to know to be ready for high school or college. I just don't. No parent does. Second, in a home setting if a child acts out they're punished/disciplined as they are at home. There's no definition between punishments. If a student acts out in my class they're going to get demerits and maybe a detention. For home-schooled students, detention and home are one in the same. What's the difference between taking away the TV for an hour because they sassed back at the dinner table versus taking the TV away for an hour because they didn't do their homework? Parents who home-school would need to get creative and find ways to inspire and motivate their kids, which of course could be considered bribing. I'm not an "incentive" teacher. I'm not going to reward a student for doing what they already know they need to do. I find incentives to be more of a "last chance" for control of the classroom. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong, but they've just never worked for me.
Another issue I have with home-schooling is that, despite what parents say and what their best intentions are, home-schooled kids are nearly always lagging behind in social skills. Because they're not engaging with their peers on a daily basis they tend to be a little more socially awkward than the rest of us. Junior high and high school are hard enough, and then thrusting a home-schooled child into a social setting, even one they're familiar with, just makes for an awkward situation in which your child has no fun and no friends.
Kids NEED rules and order. They may hate it, but they NEED to stand in line and wait until the bell rings. Seriously. Come visit my school any day of the week and you'll see that if I were to say, "Go grab your coat" and not specify which row should walk into the coat room or ask for line leaders to lead the class down the hall that there'd be chaos. "But what are we supposed to dooooooooooooooooooooooooo????" Quizzical looks and demanding, needy question askers would be tugging at me, desperate to make order of the chaos. I kid you know. Kids like knowing that everything happens in order, and most adults to as well. To take away that order puts them on edge. To not have that order to begin with makes kids, in my opinion, more confused and less able to adapt to order in high school and college.
Simply taking your child to a church youth group or making them play on a weekly softball team doesn't fix the problem, either. Sure they're getting social interaction, but the home-schooled child is often "weird" or the outsider. From my experience (which admittedly is limited, but it's been the same in every case I've encountered) the home-schooler doesn't engaged and doesn't understand the social cues beind sent out by the other children. The child might come from a home where everyone there loves and adores them and listens to every word they have to say, but in social situations that's not the case. I've encountered adults who talk and talk and talk and talk and dominate the conversations because they're afraid of the silence, or because they just assume that everyone wants to hear what they have to say. Social cues aren't something you learn in a classroom with a notebook and pencil--they take time to learn and master.
The one home-schooled child I knew well is a struggling adult. Because she grew up in a very closed environment (her parents both worked from home and she has a very honest, but also very boundryless relationship with them) she's VERY unprepared for life outside her little bubble. "Anna" grew up in a very small family and attended a very small and very literal Southern Baptist church. She has a very sweet disposition, but anything different from what she is used to makes her twitch a little. For example, when attending college for the first time she was completely struck that homosexuals actually existed outside Chicago. She thought for sure that there weren't gay people south of I-80, apparently. Regardless of what your feelings about homosexuality are, you have to at least agree that it's something we encounter everyday and it's not going away. It's just another difference found in people all over the nation. However, Anna just stared in shock when she met her first lesbian. Apparently this woman wasn't anything like Anna expected, and the way she kept her distance it was clear she thought that she could catch some gay disease or something.
Anna also has a low tolerance for compromise. She wants her way, gosh darn it! When asked, Anna will tell you that she never had any problems sharing or compromising at home. Everyone ELSE is the problem! However, it's clear that Anna and compromise quite well with her close-knit family because they're all very much alike. There's no fight for what to watch on TV each night because they all love the same programs. But when meeting her college roommate and having to learn to share and work out a shower/bathroom schedule and learning when to ask and when to compromise gave Anna the hardest year of her life. She just wasn't used to living with "an outsider". While her roommate was generally a good person, she and Anna were veeeeeeeeeeeery different and Anna just couldn't live with her.
Now, if you're an advocate for home-schooling I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, these are just extreme cases! I'll certainly make sure my child understands that they need to compromise with people and they need to learn to share with other kids." Oh yeah? How so? Limited social interaction makes it harder for kids to learn how to share and work with others. Sure Anna could share with her brother Travis, but she couldn't share with anyone else. She just didn't know how. Even now, when I hear her talk about her teaching career, her complaints are always about her coworkers and that they're irritating her. "They're doing it wrong! They have no classroom control! They're not prepared enough!" Really, Anna? Is that the only problem? Sure there are teachers who play a little fast and loose with their lesson plans and Lord knows there are classroom management issues, but I find it hard to believe that ALLLLLL your coworkers are underqualified and mismanaging.
I think part of the reasons parents home-school (and this is gonna be flame-worthy) are completely selfish. Maybe they're having a little trouble letting go, or maybe they're homebodies to begin with. Maybe they don't even realize they're being selfish. I don't know. However, I've to date only met one parent (a former classroom teacher) who chose to home-school for the benefit of her CHILD, not herself. In this instance, her child was being bullied relentlessly at school and she felt the school wasn't doing enough to combat what was happening to her child. She and her husband cannot afford a private school and they are not yet able to move into a new school district. She took matters into her own hands and is home-schooling her oldest child but not her younger three. His schedule matches that of his siblings, and while he's socially awkward he's doing remarkably well given the circumstances. I think that his mother's teaching background definitely helps. After all, she knows what she's teaching him backwards and forwards and she has years of elementary classroom experience. Sure she might be a little rusty after being a stay-at-home mom for so long, but she definitely knows her stuff and once they're able to move they're planning to admit their child to regular school again.
Home-schooling children because you think you can do a better job is just plain silly. Like I said, I'd never assume that I need to know everything necessary to educate a child. Furthermore, there's a reason most school districts now require a Master's degree to teach Pre-K and Kindergarten. Those early years are important for education. Kids learn to play WITH one another, not near one another. They learn to share, and they learn to have a schedule and order and to be just a little bit responsible for one another. I believe the Pre-K teacher at my school is one of the best around. All students who attend Preschool here and continue on to Kindergarten know how to read and write (at least a little) by Kindergarten. They learn to play with other kids and they learn how to behave and follow classroom rules. They are far better prepared to enter the upper grades than those children who don't attend Preschool at all. Even if Mom and Dad are teaching Junior his letters and numbers, Preschool is much more than just playing, snacking, and napping these days. It's critical for success. When polled, the 8th grade students (graduating in a few weeks) who attended Preschool are among the brightest and smartest in their class. Those who didn't struggle much more academically.
Something else I've encountered with home-schooled kids is that they learn early on that "outsiders are scary." They're not like them, therefore we "normal folk" are strange and different. I've never, ever met someone who attended a home school who didn't think "the rest of us" were trustworthy, normal, and not weird. If your parents work from home and you learn from home, you have no baseline for what normal behavior looks like. Sure, you're normal. Normal for you. You have no exposure to anything different. By the time you enter the mainstream, everything different is weird and not trustworthy. Yes, if a student attends regular school, people and things will still be weird. However, they'll be less eye-popping than if that student were home-schooled and effectively sheltered and then thrust into real life.
Something else that comes up when home-schooling is discussed is the fear parents have when they send their children off to school. Shootings, gangs, drugs, drinking, partying, curse words, stress...I can definitely understand why parents, when weighing those obstacles, could want to keep their kids at home. But here's the thing: I spend 6 hours a day with these kids. I can only have so much of an impact, as can their friends. Technology has made it easier to get access to all those potential threats, but the role of the parent hasn't diminished. As a parent, you have access to your child all the time. You shouldn't have to worry that your child will descend into the seventh circle of hell and become a liar and drug addict if you've done your job right. All those fears are normal and I don't know that they ever go away. But worrying comes with the territory of being a parent. Parents worry, kids don't. That's life. However, as a parent you can educate your child and make sure they're not going to make bad decisions. Will your kid screw up? YES! At least, I sure as hell hope so. That's what kids do. They make mistakes but they learn from those mistakes with the right training. You can't be with your child every minute. It's just not healthy. But you can educate and teach your child right from wrong and what the dangers of drugs and alcohol are and hope and pray that they actually listened to you and will make the right decisions when faced with a choice.
Another issue, one most work-at-home parents don't consider is the time required for home-schooling. You'd effectively have to quit your job to teach your kid, or hire a tutor to get your work done. Or, learn to live on little sleep and work at night. Teaching children who can't work independently makes it nearly impossible to do your "real job". Scheduling can help, but let's face it. You had kids for a reason. You love them and want to spend time with them. You're not going to want to teach kids for an hour, then give them 2 hours to go outside and play while you stay holed up inside. You want to spend time with them and enjoy their company. Some of my favorite memories of school and childhood include coming home and being able to tell my parents what I learned today. I felt like a genius when I learned how to multiply and divide and my parents enjoyed my stories and my demonstrations of what I learned in school.
Bottom line, kids NEED to learn from people other than their parents. They need to learn from other teachers and their classmates. They need to learn to follow the rules and work with kids who aren't them. Only children have a hard enough time learning to work with other kids, why make it harder for them? If a parent is considering home-schooling, my best advice for them is to strongly consider the reasons behind it. Why do you want to home school so much? Will your schedules allow it? What sort of schedule will you follow? Do you have any plans to admit your child to a normal day school once they're older? Also, what kind of socialization will you have planned for "after school"? What if your child doesn't like it and wants to quit? What will you provide in the place of that dropped activity?
I know parenting is tough and Lord knows you want what's best for your child. However, what's best for you isn't necessarily the best for your child. Look at all your schooling options. Private schools are hurting in this economy and might be willing to work with you and give you a financial aid package to make tuition affordable, or maybe you can work at the school part-time to defer some of that tuition. If private isn't even an option on the table, look at your local schools and take a tour. Meet your child's teachers. If you don't like them and like the idea of your child being home, strongly consider hiring an outside tutor or forming a home-school group. Trust me, with the way schools are closing left and right these days there will be plenty of former teachers looking to keep working until they can get another classroom placement. Charter schools are also an option: a public school with a private feel. In Chicago, charter schools are essentially forcing out "bad kids" with a behavior code and the bad kids are turning to neighborhood schools. If your kid doesn't have a behavior issue, then they should be fine.
To me, there are almost always better options than home-schooling. It doesn't seem healthy for anyone involved. Attachment issues can form, and few home-schooled children grow up to be well-adjusted teenagers and adults. You are the most important teacher your child has, but you can't be there all the time, and your child can learn valuable life lessons from you while you leave the letters and numbers teaching to the professionals.
When I was a child I wanted desperately to be home-schooled. I hated wearing my uniform, hated school lunches, hated the bells. I craved flexibility and math lessons in my pajamas. That's the "dream" of home-school for so many, but it turns out to not be the reality for the kids I've met who were home-schooled. Some have had tutors come to them daily, some have "classroom" areas set up in their homes, and some even have a regular school day schedule. In college I met a young woman who had been home-schooled in a regular day school, just in a private classroom with other home-school students. Because they were attending the school they had to wear the required uniform, and they also met with different teachers throughout the day.
As most teachers, I disagree with the theory of home-schooling for a number of reasons. First of all, while I am an educator I would never dream that I have all the knowledge I need to teach my child everything they need to know to be ready for high school or college. I just don't. No parent does. Second, in a home setting if a child acts out they're punished/disciplined as they are at home. There's no definition between punishments. If a student acts out in my class they're going to get demerits and maybe a detention. For home-schooled students, detention and home are one in the same. What's the difference between taking away the TV for an hour because they sassed back at the dinner table versus taking the TV away for an hour because they didn't do their homework? Parents who home-school would need to get creative and find ways to inspire and motivate their kids, which of course could be considered bribing. I'm not an "incentive" teacher. I'm not going to reward a student for doing what they already know they need to do. I find incentives to be more of a "last chance" for control of the classroom. Perhaps I'm doing it wrong, but they've just never worked for me.
Another issue I have with home-schooling is that, despite what parents say and what their best intentions are, home-schooled kids are nearly always lagging behind in social skills. Because they're not engaging with their peers on a daily basis they tend to be a little more socially awkward than the rest of us. Junior high and high school are hard enough, and then thrusting a home-schooled child into a social setting, even one they're familiar with, just makes for an awkward situation in which your child has no fun and no friends.
Kids NEED rules and order. They may hate it, but they NEED to stand in line and wait until the bell rings. Seriously. Come visit my school any day of the week and you'll see that if I were to say, "Go grab your coat" and not specify which row should walk into the coat room or ask for line leaders to lead the class down the hall that there'd be chaos. "But what are we supposed to dooooooooooooooooooooooooo????" Quizzical looks and demanding, needy question askers would be tugging at me, desperate to make order of the chaos. I kid you know. Kids like knowing that everything happens in order, and most adults to as well. To take away that order puts them on edge. To not have that order to begin with makes kids, in my opinion, more confused and less able to adapt to order in high school and college.
Simply taking your child to a church youth group or making them play on a weekly softball team doesn't fix the problem, either. Sure they're getting social interaction, but the home-schooled child is often "weird" or the outsider. From my experience (which admittedly is limited, but it's been the same in every case I've encountered) the home-schooler doesn't engaged and doesn't understand the social cues beind sent out by the other children. The child might come from a home where everyone there loves and adores them and listens to every word they have to say, but in social situations that's not the case. I've encountered adults who talk and talk and talk and talk and dominate the conversations because they're afraid of the silence, or because they just assume that everyone wants to hear what they have to say. Social cues aren't something you learn in a classroom with a notebook and pencil--they take time to learn and master.
The one home-schooled child I knew well is a struggling adult. Because she grew up in a very closed environment (her parents both worked from home and she has a very honest, but also very boundryless relationship with them) she's VERY unprepared for life outside her little bubble. "Anna" grew up in a very small family and attended a very small and very literal Southern Baptist church. She has a very sweet disposition, but anything different from what she is used to makes her twitch a little. For example, when attending college for the first time she was completely struck that homosexuals actually existed outside Chicago. She thought for sure that there weren't gay people south of I-80, apparently. Regardless of what your feelings about homosexuality are, you have to at least agree that it's something we encounter everyday and it's not going away. It's just another difference found in people all over the nation. However, Anna just stared in shock when she met her first lesbian. Apparently this woman wasn't anything like Anna expected, and the way she kept her distance it was clear she thought that she could catch some gay disease or something.
Anna also has a low tolerance for compromise. She wants her way, gosh darn it! When asked, Anna will tell you that she never had any problems sharing or compromising at home. Everyone ELSE is the problem! However, it's clear that Anna and compromise quite well with her close-knit family because they're all very much alike. There's no fight for what to watch on TV each night because they all love the same programs. But when meeting her college roommate and having to learn to share and work out a shower/bathroom schedule and learning when to ask and when to compromise gave Anna the hardest year of her life. She just wasn't used to living with "an outsider". While her roommate was generally a good person, she and Anna were veeeeeeeeeeeery different and Anna just couldn't live with her.
Now, if you're an advocate for home-schooling I'm sure you're thinking, "Well, these are just extreme cases! I'll certainly make sure my child understands that they need to compromise with people and they need to learn to share with other kids." Oh yeah? How so? Limited social interaction makes it harder for kids to learn how to share and work with others. Sure Anna could share with her brother Travis, but she couldn't share with anyone else. She just didn't know how. Even now, when I hear her talk about her teaching career, her complaints are always about her coworkers and that they're irritating her. "They're doing it wrong! They have no classroom control! They're not prepared enough!" Really, Anna? Is that the only problem? Sure there are teachers who play a little fast and loose with their lesson plans and Lord knows there are classroom management issues, but I find it hard to believe that ALLLLLL your coworkers are underqualified and mismanaging.
I think part of the reasons parents home-school (and this is gonna be flame-worthy) are completely selfish. Maybe they're having a little trouble letting go, or maybe they're homebodies to begin with. Maybe they don't even realize they're being selfish. I don't know. However, I've to date only met one parent (a former classroom teacher) who chose to home-school for the benefit of her CHILD, not herself. In this instance, her child was being bullied relentlessly at school and she felt the school wasn't doing enough to combat what was happening to her child. She and her husband cannot afford a private school and they are not yet able to move into a new school district. She took matters into her own hands and is home-schooling her oldest child but not her younger three. His schedule matches that of his siblings, and while he's socially awkward he's doing remarkably well given the circumstances. I think that his mother's teaching background definitely helps. After all, she knows what she's teaching him backwards and forwards and she has years of elementary classroom experience. Sure she might be a little rusty after being a stay-at-home mom for so long, but she definitely knows her stuff and once they're able to move they're planning to admit their child to regular school again.
Home-schooling children because you think you can do a better job is just plain silly. Like I said, I'd never assume that I need to know everything necessary to educate a child. Furthermore, there's a reason most school districts now require a Master's degree to teach Pre-K and Kindergarten. Those early years are important for education. Kids learn to play WITH one another, not near one another. They learn to share, and they learn to have a schedule and order and to be just a little bit responsible for one another. I believe the Pre-K teacher at my school is one of the best around. All students who attend Preschool here and continue on to Kindergarten know how to read and write (at least a little) by Kindergarten. They learn to play with other kids and they learn how to behave and follow classroom rules. They are far better prepared to enter the upper grades than those children who don't attend Preschool at all. Even if Mom and Dad are teaching Junior his letters and numbers, Preschool is much more than just playing, snacking, and napping these days. It's critical for success. When polled, the 8th grade students (graduating in a few weeks) who attended Preschool are among the brightest and smartest in their class. Those who didn't struggle much more academically.
Something else I've encountered with home-schooled kids is that they learn early on that "outsiders are scary." They're not like them, therefore we "normal folk" are strange and different. I've never, ever met someone who attended a home school who didn't think "the rest of us" were trustworthy, normal, and not weird. If your parents work from home and you learn from home, you have no baseline for what normal behavior looks like. Sure, you're normal. Normal for you. You have no exposure to anything different. By the time you enter the mainstream, everything different is weird and not trustworthy. Yes, if a student attends regular school, people and things will still be weird. However, they'll be less eye-popping than if that student were home-schooled and effectively sheltered and then thrust into real life.
Something else that comes up when home-schooling is discussed is the fear parents have when they send their children off to school. Shootings, gangs, drugs, drinking, partying, curse words, stress...I can definitely understand why parents, when weighing those obstacles, could want to keep their kids at home. But here's the thing: I spend 6 hours a day with these kids. I can only have so much of an impact, as can their friends. Technology has made it easier to get access to all those potential threats, but the role of the parent hasn't diminished. As a parent, you have access to your child all the time. You shouldn't have to worry that your child will descend into the seventh circle of hell and become a liar and drug addict if you've done your job right. All those fears are normal and I don't know that they ever go away. But worrying comes with the territory of being a parent. Parents worry, kids don't. That's life. However, as a parent you can educate your child and make sure they're not going to make bad decisions. Will your kid screw up? YES! At least, I sure as hell hope so. That's what kids do. They make mistakes but they learn from those mistakes with the right training. You can't be with your child every minute. It's just not healthy. But you can educate and teach your child right from wrong and what the dangers of drugs and alcohol are and hope and pray that they actually listened to you and will make the right decisions when faced with a choice.
Another issue, one most work-at-home parents don't consider is the time required for home-schooling. You'd effectively have to quit your job to teach your kid, or hire a tutor to get your work done. Or, learn to live on little sleep and work at night. Teaching children who can't work independently makes it nearly impossible to do your "real job". Scheduling can help, but let's face it. You had kids for a reason. You love them and want to spend time with them. You're not going to want to teach kids for an hour, then give them 2 hours to go outside and play while you stay holed up inside. You want to spend time with them and enjoy their company. Some of my favorite memories of school and childhood include coming home and being able to tell my parents what I learned today. I felt like a genius when I learned how to multiply and divide and my parents enjoyed my stories and my demonstrations of what I learned in school.
Bottom line, kids NEED to learn from people other than their parents. They need to learn from other teachers and their classmates. They need to learn to follow the rules and work with kids who aren't them. Only children have a hard enough time learning to work with other kids, why make it harder for them? If a parent is considering home-schooling, my best advice for them is to strongly consider the reasons behind it. Why do you want to home school so much? Will your schedules allow it? What sort of schedule will you follow? Do you have any plans to admit your child to a normal day school once they're older? Also, what kind of socialization will you have planned for "after school"? What if your child doesn't like it and wants to quit? What will you provide in the place of that dropped activity?
I know parenting is tough and Lord knows you want what's best for your child. However, what's best for you isn't necessarily the best for your child. Look at all your schooling options. Private schools are hurting in this economy and might be willing to work with you and give you a financial aid package to make tuition affordable, or maybe you can work at the school part-time to defer some of that tuition. If private isn't even an option on the table, look at your local schools and take a tour. Meet your child's teachers. If you don't like them and like the idea of your child being home, strongly consider hiring an outside tutor or forming a home-school group. Trust me, with the way schools are closing left and right these days there will be plenty of former teachers looking to keep working until they can get another classroom placement. Charter schools are also an option: a public school with a private feel. In Chicago, charter schools are essentially forcing out "bad kids" with a behavior code and the bad kids are turning to neighborhood schools. If your kid doesn't have a behavior issue, then they should be fine.
To me, there are almost always better options than home-schooling. It doesn't seem healthy for anyone involved. Attachment issues can form, and few home-schooled children grow up to be well-adjusted teenagers and adults. You are the most important teacher your child has, but you can't be there all the time, and your child can learn valuable life lessons from you while you leave the letters and numbers teaching to the professionals.
Monday, April 27, 2009
What the hell am I gonna do?
I just had a conference with a student and it wasn't a happy one. He's an okay student, but he's gotten this attitude that he doesn't need to do his work. He's in school soley to socialize and have fun, and as a result his grades are in the toilet. His parent/teacher conference wasn't a positive one: it was basically laid out for him that he's most likely repeating this year, and that STILL hasn't changed his behavior. He's still not participating and not turning in work. I wish I could physically slap him across the face and hope that the reality of the situation sticks that way, because giving him his grades and telling him that he's going to repeat clearly hasn't worked.
Here's the thing...he's not one of those kids that "just doesn't get it" because he's LD. He seems to think that he can float by on his good looks and charm. He's always gotten out of trouble before, so clearly it's got to happen one last time. It's so frustrating to see someone who could be an A or B student care so little while the kids with real problems struggle so much and would kill to get a B on a test.
I'm sending a note home today or tomorrow, whenever I can get it translated. It's just such a pain, and I'm very annoyed that this kid hasn't turned it around at all.
Here's the thing...he's not one of those kids that "just doesn't get it" because he's LD. He seems to think that he can float by on his good looks and charm. He's always gotten out of trouble before, so clearly it's got to happen one last time. It's so frustrating to see someone who could be an A or B student care so little while the kids with real problems struggle so much and would kill to get a B on a test.
I'm sending a note home today or tomorrow, whenever I can get it translated. It's just such a pain, and I'm very annoyed that this kid hasn't turned it around at all.
Monday, April 20, 2009
Bad News
It's not totally what you think. I found out over the weekend that my boss's husband was very ill. He's been sick for a number of years, and around this time last year got very sick. My boss was pretty much absent for the rest of the school year. I was surprised to hear that he took a sudden turn over the weekend and I found out this morning that he passed away last night.
Of course my thoughts and prayers are with my boss and her family at this time, and my boss is out of the office until further notice. I'm so sorry for her loss. I can't imagine losing your partner of 30+ years, no matter how long they've been ill.
Personally, I'm frustrated. I was supposed to be finding out--right now, actually--if I had a job for the coming year or not. I feel bad and selfish, because I know my boss would be here if she could. I know that she's not bailing on us--she's got the best/worst reason for not being here today and this week. I just hate not knowing one way or the other.
Today has just been a crazy and long day already. I'm not looking forward to a week of this if this is how it's gonna be! I had forgotten how crazy the last weeks of school are. There are only 7 weeks left, but in actuality it's 5. Our grades are due about a week and a half before the end of the year, so I feel kind of like a babysitter at the very end. I wish that we could turn our grades in after the last day of school so all the behavior and wrap-up work would count for something.
On top of all the bad news about my boss, I paired up kids in 7th grade for a project, and two boys I paired up threw a minor tantrum. Seriously. It didn't hit me until a little later that they're both only children to the nth degree. In my opinion they're pretty spoiled and they do not share well. I paired them up because one is a little more focused than the other; the second student tends to sit and let his classmates do the work while he takes the credit. I figured it'd be a good exercise for them in learning to work with people they don't like. Unfortunately, they just weren't handling it well and they pitched a major fit and I couldn't even get through the rest of the partnerships.
I spoke with them privately and hated to do it but gave them an ultimatum: prove to me today that you can work well together or you wil be separated and will work alone in different classrooms until the project is finished. They had one chance to prove to me that they could work together. Surprisingly, they actually managed to work together, not terribly well but well enough for today. I'll still need to speak with one or two parents, I'm sure (yuck), but I probably won't have to make any calls for another few days.
In other news, I'd forgotten how neurotic 5th graders are. Holy Mother of Mercy!!! Every little thing is a big deal to them. Seriously. The 5th grade teacher sent 8 kids in to finish their reports; apparently she only wanted to send 6 but 2 extra came along for the party. One of the girls who said she was "one of the first six" just kept whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining about it! "The teacher only sent six! There are eight people in here! The teacher only sent siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiix!" Holy moly. I'm slowly losing my patience for the small, silly stuff. If no one's bleeding, screaming, crying, being attacked by zombies, or being poked in the eye with a sharp implement, it's "NOT A BIG DEAL!" That's my mantra right now. I'm considering posting it at the front of my classroom just so everyone can understand that life isn't to be taken quite so seriously. Chill, man...you'll get your eraser back momentarily.
Of course my thoughts and prayers are with my boss and her family at this time, and my boss is out of the office until further notice. I'm so sorry for her loss. I can't imagine losing your partner of 30+ years, no matter how long they've been ill.
Personally, I'm frustrated. I was supposed to be finding out--right now, actually--if I had a job for the coming year or not. I feel bad and selfish, because I know my boss would be here if she could. I know that she's not bailing on us--she's got the best/worst reason for not being here today and this week. I just hate not knowing one way or the other.
Today has just been a crazy and long day already. I'm not looking forward to a week of this if this is how it's gonna be! I had forgotten how crazy the last weeks of school are. There are only 7 weeks left, but in actuality it's 5. Our grades are due about a week and a half before the end of the year, so I feel kind of like a babysitter at the very end. I wish that we could turn our grades in after the last day of school so all the behavior and wrap-up work would count for something.
On top of all the bad news about my boss, I paired up kids in 7th grade for a project, and two boys I paired up threw a minor tantrum. Seriously. It didn't hit me until a little later that they're both only children to the nth degree. In my opinion they're pretty spoiled and they do not share well. I paired them up because one is a little more focused than the other; the second student tends to sit and let his classmates do the work while he takes the credit. I figured it'd be a good exercise for them in learning to work with people they don't like. Unfortunately, they just weren't handling it well and they pitched a major fit and I couldn't even get through the rest of the partnerships.
I spoke with them privately and hated to do it but gave them an ultimatum: prove to me today that you can work well together or you wil be separated and will work alone in different classrooms until the project is finished. They had one chance to prove to me that they could work together. Surprisingly, they actually managed to work together, not terribly well but well enough for today. I'll still need to speak with one or two parents, I'm sure (yuck), but I probably won't have to make any calls for another few days.
In other news, I'd forgotten how neurotic 5th graders are. Holy Mother of Mercy!!! Every little thing is a big deal to them. Seriously. The 5th grade teacher sent 8 kids in to finish their reports; apparently she only wanted to send 6 but 2 extra came along for the party. One of the girls who said she was "one of the first six" just kept whiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiining about it! "The teacher only sent six! There are eight people in here! The teacher only sent siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiix!" Holy moly. I'm slowly losing my patience for the small, silly stuff. If no one's bleeding, screaming, crying, being attacked by zombies, or being poked in the eye with a sharp implement, it's "NOT A BIG DEAL!" That's my mantra right now. I'm considering posting it at the front of my classroom just so everyone can understand that life isn't to be taken quite so seriously. Chill, man...you'll get your eraser back momentarily.
Thursday, April 9, 2009
Interesting realization
I'd actually come to this conclusion long ago, and it might even be offensive to some, but I'm willing to share it here and see who comments (or doesn't).
Teaching is what keeps me from wanting kids. As long as I'm a teacher, I will not have a child (on purpose).
Allow me to explain.
I love kids, I really do. But being around them allllll daaaaaaaaaaaaaay is a workout in itself. I can't spend all day with kids and then go home and give my kids the attention they deserve. It's just not gonna happen. I'm too exhausted by the end of the school day to come home and play with a toddler.
I'm sure that if the situation presented itself I'd feel differently. From what I've heard, most moms count the hours so they can get back to their little ones and resent that they aren't the SAHM they never wanted to be until now. And when it's your child, almost every movement and sound is precious, and not the obnoxious moans and movements made by an 8th grader who's been ready to graduate since July.
However, at this moment in time, I really think that teaching has kept me from wanting to get knocked up. When I come home, it's quiet. It's a glorious, wonderful quiet. Just the low hum of the fish tank and the rumble of the trains rolling by. My oh my is it wonderful!
I'm sure the time will come when teaching just won't keep those pangs at bay and then I'll have some serious decisions to make. (or heck! Maybe they'll have been made for me!) Do I want to wake up with a child, go to work and be surrounded by hundreds of kids, go home to another one or two, and fall asleep only to wake up 2 hours later to feed a child?
To me, that sounds like hell. But that's rightnow. Maybe someday rightnow will fade into backthen and rightnow will mean Iwantababyrightnow. Hell, it almost has to, right? Just about all the married teachers at my school have kids, and some have grandkids. AND they're still teaching! That says something, doesn't it? It says you love your job, and you love it so much that you're willing to keep going despite all the worries that float through your mind. It says that determination can help you do a lot. It says that teaching kids can't keep having your own kids on the backburner forever. And to me, it says that even though you're around kids all the time, the desire to have your own is greater than all the evidence that tells you to close up shop and give up that little pipe dream.
I don't know. All I do know is that when the quiet that waits for me when I get home is pure, unadulterated bliss. Or is that unachilderated? Whatever. Bliss is bliss.
Teaching is what keeps me from wanting kids. As long as I'm a teacher, I will not have a child (on purpose).
Allow me to explain.
I love kids, I really do. But being around them allllll daaaaaaaaaaaaaay is a workout in itself. I can't spend all day with kids and then go home and give my kids the attention they deserve. It's just not gonna happen. I'm too exhausted by the end of the school day to come home and play with a toddler.
I'm sure that if the situation presented itself I'd feel differently. From what I've heard, most moms count the hours so they can get back to their little ones and resent that they aren't the SAHM they never wanted to be until now. And when it's your child, almost every movement and sound is precious, and not the obnoxious moans and movements made by an 8th grader who's been ready to graduate since July.
However, at this moment in time, I really think that teaching has kept me from wanting to get knocked up. When I come home, it's quiet. It's a glorious, wonderful quiet. Just the low hum of the fish tank and the rumble of the trains rolling by. My oh my is it wonderful!
I'm sure the time will come when teaching just won't keep those pangs at bay and then I'll have some serious decisions to make. (or heck! Maybe they'll have been made for me!) Do I want to wake up with a child, go to work and be surrounded by hundreds of kids, go home to another one or two, and fall asleep only to wake up 2 hours later to feed a child?
To me, that sounds like hell. But that's rightnow. Maybe someday rightnow will fade into backthen and rightnow will mean Iwantababyrightnow. Hell, it almost has to, right? Just about all the married teachers at my school have kids, and some have grandkids. AND they're still teaching! That says something, doesn't it? It says you love your job, and you love it so much that you're willing to keep going despite all the worries that float through your mind. It says that determination can help you do a lot. It says that teaching kids can't keep having your own kids on the backburner forever. And to me, it says that even though you're around kids all the time, the desire to have your own is greater than all the evidence that tells you to close up shop and give up that little pipe dream.
I don't know. All I do know is that when the quiet that waits for me when I get home is pure, unadulterated bliss. Or is that unachilderated? Whatever. Bliss is bliss.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Two and a quarter hours, 2 conferences done.
Out of 220+ students. Oy.
The last one was a disappointing one. One of those "kid failed just about everything and tried to make excuses" with an angry parent. However, the parent wasn't angry at the teachers, but at his kid and at the situation.
I hope things change, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Isn't that sad? I feel like behavior is playing too major a factor with this kid. He allows himself to get too distracted and enjoys being the center of attention. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.
Part of me wants them to promote him so he doesn't mess up the good things going on in the incoming class. Part of me wants them to retain him; he probably should have been retained at a previous school and wasn't, and now he's ahead of the pack with his social skills and he'd reeeeeeeeally stick out in that class. Academically however, he's way behind. I don't know, but maybe that's the swift kick he needs.
The last one was a disappointing one. One of those "kid failed just about everything and tried to make excuses" with an angry parent. However, the parent wasn't angry at the teachers, but at his kid and at the situation.
I hope things change, but I don't want to get my hopes up. Isn't that sad? I feel like behavior is playing too major a factor with this kid. He allows himself to get too distracted and enjoys being the center of attention. Greeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeat.
Part of me wants them to promote him so he doesn't mess up the good things going on in the incoming class. Part of me wants them to retain him; he probably should have been retained at a previous school and wasn't, and now he's ahead of the pack with his social skills and he'd reeeeeeeeally stick out in that class. Academically however, he's way behind. I don't know, but maybe that's the swift kick he needs.
Monday, April 6, 2009
The longest days in the school year...
...are those days right before a long break. I've been counting down to Easter vacation since the end of February! I've got a countdown ready for the day we come back until June 5th. It's not necessarily a sign that we don't like our jobs, just that we're ready for a break and ready for some much needed 'me time'.
This year I don't have major plans for spring break, just taking care of some smaller tasks that I haven't made time for lately, like getting my kitchen knives sharpened and reading some smaller nonsense books I've had on my shelves for a while. I actually don't always mind reading the simpler stuff; I've found that it helps me appreciate the great stuff even more. When it comes to my spring break, I don't want to do any more thinking than necessary. I feel like my brain is reaching its critical limits here!
I don't know why these days seem long--they just do. I'm sure part of that is my own anxiousness. We've earned a nice week off, haven't we? As the kids start to lose it, so do we! I've given 2 classes assignments that are nothing more than busy work today. Sad as it is, I'm okay with that! I don't give them busy work all the time, but it's difficult trying to cram in a new lesson on their last class day, and it's even more awkward trying to reteach that lesson after they've returned from a week of sleeping and vegging on the couch. It's difficult to get myself back into the groove as it is! I don't always advocate busy work, but I give it out so rarely that the kids and I both see it as a treat.
Tomorrow and Wednesday will be worse, Wednesday especially! 4 hours of teaching followed by 6 hours of conferences! Joy of my joys! I will have to do everything in my power to keep myself from busting out of here at 7:00 p.m. Wednesday like a caged animal.
I know we'll get through it, and I'm not concerned about breaking down mentally (although my classroom printers are doing their hardest to try and send me to a padded room), it's just going to be a long few days in between now and Thursday morning.
This year I don't have major plans for spring break, just taking care of some smaller tasks that I haven't made time for lately, like getting my kitchen knives sharpened and reading some smaller nonsense books I've had on my shelves for a while. I actually don't always mind reading the simpler stuff; I've found that it helps me appreciate the great stuff even more. When it comes to my spring break, I don't want to do any more thinking than necessary. I feel like my brain is reaching its critical limits here!
I don't know why these days seem long--they just do. I'm sure part of that is my own anxiousness. We've earned a nice week off, haven't we? As the kids start to lose it, so do we! I've given 2 classes assignments that are nothing more than busy work today. Sad as it is, I'm okay with that! I don't give them busy work all the time, but it's difficult trying to cram in a new lesson on their last class day, and it's even more awkward trying to reteach that lesson after they've returned from a week of sleeping and vegging on the couch. It's difficult to get myself back into the groove as it is! I don't always advocate busy work, but I give it out so rarely that the kids and I both see it as a treat.
Tomorrow and Wednesday will be worse, Wednesday especially! 4 hours of teaching followed by 6 hours of conferences! Joy of my joys! I will have to do everything in my power to keep myself from busting out of here at 7:00 p.m. Wednesday like a caged animal.
I know we'll get through it, and I'm not concerned about breaking down mentally (although my classroom printers are doing their hardest to try and send me to a padded room), it's just going to be a long few days in between now and Thursday morning.
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
Another article
It must be 'interesting article day' for CNN because as soon as I logged in again, I saw this one.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/24/teddys.struggle/index.html
Food allergies are a nightmare for parents, teachers, and students. Kids with especially harsh allergies, like Teddy here, require a lot more attention to detail than your average kid with the pollen allergy. In the article, Teddy's mom states that they have to be very specific with his teachers and even ask that some foods be kept out of the classroom completely because exposure could cause him to go into shock or even resperatory distress.
Kids are strange creatures. They often know what they can and can't have but their selective memory kicks in and suddenly they've forgotten that they're allergic to chocolate, and OOPS! Here come the itchy hives and sneezing. At my last school, we had a mass/assembly with students from another school. At mass, the priest blew up a ton of balloons and started bouncing them around to different students. He even passed out balloons to students so they could help him blow them up. One of my students got so excited and distracted by the balloons that she forgot that she was allergic to latex. One inhalation from a balloon and she was itching and having trouble breathing in about 30 seconds. We all kept a few pairs of plastic gloves around in case she was bleeding and we needed to treat her; using latex gloves could have been deadly if some of it got in her blood stream
Some kids are very good about it, and even now and then you'll come across a classroom that's very understanding and empathetic and willing to bend to accomodate their classmate. If William can't have chocolate, Susan and others will bring vanilla cupcakes for their birthdays. If Anya is allergic to wheat, the kids will find a wheat-free treat to bring to school. That's so empowering and uplifting, to see kids who are all about helping one another and standing together. It's clear they've been given the right role models to look to and follow.
For teachers, it's most important when the parents are clear and upfront about allergies, even for dust or outside allergens. If a parent came to me and said that Sally was allergic to dust, I'd try a little harder to keep my classroom cleaner. If another parent came to me and said that their son Chuckie was allergic to citrus products, I'd definitely make sure to ask and remind parents to keep citrus juices and products out of our classroom for the safety of all students.
My school is supposed to provide a first aid kid to all classrooms, but as a specials teacher I've been overlooked (fairly often the case). I'm working on my own, and I've got to get some more plastic gloves, but I've got children's tylenol in there as well as some benedryl and plenty of gauze and band aids. I've never had to use any of it, thank God, but you never know.
That leads me to my next point: meds. If a student has medication that they have to take at a certain time, I'd leave it with a teacher or in the school office or with the nurse. That's not to say that kids aren't responsible enough to take care of it on their own, but sometimes kids forget if the schedule is a little different, and sometimes kids don't know that it's not okay to self-medicate if they 'need a little more'. Parents will probably need to give written permission for the school to give any kind of medication to a student. Sometimes I wish it was the 1940s again when teachers could dole out medication as necessary and parents didn't need to sign a waiver. Paperwork has clogged up the entire system, man.
Parents, teachers, and students NEED to rely on one another when dealing with allergies. Teachers can't keep an eye out for problems if they don't know, and a parent can't be angry with a teacher for not knowing what the problem is. If I know that Charlotte is allergic to milk and give her a carton anyway, sure! Get mad at me! But if I DON'T know that Charlotte is allergic to milk, I can't be held completely responsible; I can't watch out for the problem if I don't know that there is a problem. Food allergies are hard on everyone, but I firmly believe that there's a solution or compromise to be found as long as everyone is upfront at the very beginning.
If a teacher doesn't feel comfortable giving medication or dealing with meds, there has to be someone at the school who does. If a school is lucky enough to have a nurse, that person should be able to deal with anything minor or mildly major enough that comes along, and a nurse will know when an ambulance needs to be called.
I feel so bad for kids with allergies. I think that especially with something simple, like milk, kids feel as though they're the weird kid or that they're different and in a bad way. That's simple not true, as we all know. I've heard that your allergies can change and develop into deeper or weaker allergies every 7 years or so, and that allergies can fade and that new allergies can develop. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but if it is...what a blessing for parents! As a teacher I'd love to hear that Junior is no longer allergic to chocolate. As a parent, I'd be delighted if that meant I didn't have to dig through the annual Halloween Candy Haul to find what Junior can eat through all the chocolate.
Bottom line: if parents are upfront and the child is old enough to be a little vigilent, and the teacher is aware of the situation, there's no reason that the teacher and student can't have a 'normal' year. It might be a stretch for all involved, but the child deserves to have fun and the teacher can make that happen with cooperation and a little more awareness.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/03/24/teddys.struggle/index.html
Food allergies are a nightmare for parents, teachers, and students. Kids with especially harsh allergies, like Teddy here, require a lot more attention to detail than your average kid with the pollen allergy. In the article, Teddy's mom states that they have to be very specific with his teachers and even ask that some foods be kept out of the classroom completely because exposure could cause him to go into shock or even resperatory distress.
Kids are strange creatures. They often know what they can and can't have but their selective memory kicks in and suddenly they've forgotten that they're allergic to chocolate, and OOPS! Here come the itchy hives and sneezing. At my last school, we had a mass/assembly with students from another school. At mass, the priest blew up a ton of balloons and started bouncing them around to different students. He even passed out balloons to students so they could help him blow them up. One of my students got so excited and distracted by the balloons that she forgot that she was allergic to latex. One inhalation from a balloon and she was itching and having trouble breathing in about 30 seconds. We all kept a few pairs of plastic gloves around in case she was bleeding and we needed to treat her; using latex gloves could have been deadly if some of it got in her blood stream
Some kids are very good about it, and even now and then you'll come across a classroom that's very understanding and empathetic and willing to bend to accomodate their classmate. If William can't have chocolate, Susan and others will bring vanilla cupcakes for their birthdays. If Anya is allergic to wheat, the kids will find a wheat-free treat to bring to school. That's so empowering and uplifting, to see kids who are all about helping one another and standing together. It's clear they've been given the right role models to look to and follow.
For teachers, it's most important when the parents are clear and upfront about allergies, even for dust or outside allergens. If a parent came to me and said that Sally was allergic to dust, I'd try a little harder to keep my classroom cleaner. If another parent came to me and said that their son Chuckie was allergic to citrus products, I'd definitely make sure to ask and remind parents to keep citrus juices and products out of our classroom for the safety of all students.
My school is supposed to provide a first aid kid to all classrooms, but as a specials teacher I've been overlooked (fairly often the case). I'm working on my own, and I've got to get some more plastic gloves, but I've got children's tylenol in there as well as some benedryl and plenty of gauze and band aids. I've never had to use any of it, thank God, but you never know.
That leads me to my next point: meds. If a student has medication that they have to take at a certain time, I'd leave it with a teacher or in the school office or with the nurse. That's not to say that kids aren't responsible enough to take care of it on their own, but sometimes kids forget if the schedule is a little different, and sometimes kids don't know that it's not okay to self-medicate if they 'need a little more'. Parents will probably need to give written permission for the school to give any kind of medication to a student. Sometimes I wish it was the 1940s again when teachers could dole out medication as necessary and parents didn't need to sign a waiver. Paperwork has clogged up the entire system, man.
Parents, teachers, and students NEED to rely on one another when dealing with allergies. Teachers can't keep an eye out for problems if they don't know, and a parent can't be angry with a teacher for not knowing what the problem is. If I know that Charlotte is allergic to milk and give her a carton anyway, sure! Get mad at me! But if I DON'T know that Charlotte is allergic to milk, I can't be held completely responsible; I can't watch out for the problem if I don't know that there is a problem. Food allergies are hard on everyone, but I firmly believe that there's a solution or compromise to be found as long as everyone is upfront at the very beginning.
If a teacher doesn't feel comfortable giving medication or dealing with meds, there has to be someone at the school who does. If a school is lucky enough to have a nurse, that person should be able to deal with anything minor or mildly major enough that comes along, and a nurse will know when an ambulance needs to be called.
I feel so bad for kids with allergies. I think that especially with something simple, like milk, kids feel as though they're the weird kid or that they're different and in a bad way. That's simple not true, as we all know. I've heard that your allergies can change and develop into deeper or weaker allergies every 7 years or so, and that allergies can fade and that new allergies can develop. I'm not sure if it's true or not, but if it is...what a blessing for parents! As a teacher I'd love to hear that Junior is no longer allergic to chocolate. As a parent, I'd be delighted if that meant I didn't have to dig through the annual Halloween Candy Haul to find what Junior can eat through all the chocolate.
Bottom line: if parents are upfront and the child is old enough to be a little vigilent, and the teacher is aware of the situation, there's no reason that the teacher and student can't have a 'normal' year. It might be a stretch for all involved, but the child deserves to have fun and the teacher can make that happen with cooperation and a little more awareness.
Interesting article
I found this article on CNN.com today and it was really interesting. There's a lot of talk about what hormones can do to a kid and when they kick in. It seems to me as though hormones are more active in the spring and summer, but that's just me.
I found the age ranges attached to certain physical changes to be spot on. I've noticed a number of girls in some of the middle grades struggling to catch up with their bodies, and naturally the junior high boys and girls are every which way but loose. Oh, and the smell factor? Yeesh. I've started spraying my classroom a lot more than I used to after the younger kids leave. Yikes!
It's definitely interesting reading.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/01/parenting.when.puberty.hits/index.html
I found the age ranges attached to certain physical changes to be spot on. I've noticed a number of girls in some of the middle grades struggling to catch up with their bodies, and naturally the junior high boys and girls are every which way but loose. Oh, and the smell factor? Yeesh. I've started spraying my classroom a lot more than I used to after the younger kids leave. Yikes!
It's definitely interesting reading.
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/04/01/parenting.when.puberty.hits/index.html
A disclaimer
I came to the realization last night that I probably sound like Negative Nancy in my last few blog posts. I don't mean to. I really do enjoy my job and I love working with the kids. I tend to get burned out this time of year and I get frustrated by the lack of care that the kids start to show.
It's hard when you feel like you're up against the world. Sometimes I start to wonder if there's any good reason to not just hand out As for everyone and call it a day. I have to admit I'm frightened of parents and students who get angry with me. If they were really mad at me, all they'd have to do is go to the authorities and say I did or said something that I really didn't do and my career is over. Forget my job, something truly horiffic could wreck the rest of my life! I might as well save myself and give everyone an A just to protect myself.
But, that being said, I really don't hate my job. I'm just getting a little burned out and I need some time off to clear my head and remember that I LIKE what I'm doing!
It's hard when you feel like you're up against the world. Sometimes I start to wonder if there's any good reason to not just hand out As for everyone and call it a day. I have to admit I'm frightened of parents and students who get angry with me. If they were really mad at me, all they'd have to do is go to the authorities and say I did or said something that I really didn't do and my career is over. Forget my job, something truly horiffic could wreck the rest of my life! I might as well save myself and give everyone an A just to protect myself.
But, that being said, I really don't hate my job. I'm just getting a little burned out and I need some time off to clear my head and remember that I LIKE what I'm doing!
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
The Hardest Part of the Year
Students AND teachers tend to get stressed and slap-happy this time of year. The second semester and 4th quarter especially seem so much longer than the first semester. Hell, the 4th quarter seems like an entire semester in itself. 10 weeks? Might as well be 10 months!
Different factors contribute to the overall decline in participation, focus, preparation and overall sense of "care". For students, as the weather gets warmer their minds get lazier. They start staring out the window a little more and it takes an extra 5 minutes to get them inside after recess. Some of them are dreaming about baseball practice, some of them are thinking about tanning, and the rest are either counting down until the last day of school or they're counting the number of tiles in the ceiling. For teachers, what really tends to make the days drag on and seem stressier than usual is usually the craziness and lack of focus in their students (judging solely from a random sampling of my coworkers, that is).
Once the kids start to lose focus and stop caring, it's hard as hell for teachers to keep it up! Personally, I start to think, "If they don't care, why should I?" All of a sudden I find I'm grading a little harsher and I'm snapping on students earlier than I did in the fall semester. It's not that I don't like the kids, far from it! It's just enormously depressing and stressing to feel like the only one out of 30 people who gives a hoot.
The problem with Spring is that there are SO. MANY. DISTRACTIONS. I'm sure it's different in climates that experience fewer differences in seasons, but living in Chicago is a nightmare. In the fall, the kids turn psycho the first time it snows. In the spring, they lose it on the first warm day. Not only that, but in the fall you have the knowledge that each warm day could be the last one. In the spring the days just get warmer and warmer and the kids inherently know that summer is coming. (Believe you me, they aren't the only ones. I've already got a countdown going on my desk calendar in my room. Each morning I cross off another day and count my blessings. ) As the days get warmer, the kids start itching to get outside and forget all about school. That's so draining on a teacher. Suddenly I start feeling like I have to dig a little deeper in my bag of tricks to get and keep their attention. "I WILL find a way to maintain order! I WILL!" Oy vey.
There are always ways to discipline kids, of course, but the closer it gets to the end of the year the more it seems pointless. You can give a kid so many detentions but sooner or later you'll run out of time. No one's crazy enough to demand a student show up after the school year has ended, and some parents would be angry enough to start World War Three in my classroom if I kept a student beyond the required number of days. Especially in the area I teach in, many parents and families spend the summers in Mexico, Texas, California, or Puerto Rico (or wherever) with family. By the last days of school plane tickets have been ordered, hotel rooms have been booked, families have been notified, and al the plans have been made. Asking/demanding them to stay without plenty of notice (more than a month in some instances) doesn't solve any problems and asking the wrong parent can turn the child against you and make the last days hellish.
When student behavior starts to turn, I've found that calling a parent early on helps. The parent is at least aware of the situation and can possibly work out a compromise with you. Regular phone or in person conferencing keeps the parent aware of the situation and the student can at least know that the teacher and the parents are speaking and any major infractions will be imparted to the parents. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it can't hurt!
When dealing with younger students, I almost hate to say it, I do stickers. Seriously. Whoever invented the sticker is a demi-god. Kids respond so well to stickers and sticker charts it's beyond ridiculous. It starts to wear off around the middle of 3rd grade, but from Pre-K to 3rd stickers are my go-to. Each student gets a sticker chart with his/her name on it and they get one sticker per day provided their behavior is good. They start comparing charts and counting their stickers and suddenly they're motivated again! It's a miracle.
As for me, I'm just hanging in there. I'm well into the single digit countdown for spring break! After that, it's a few weeks before Memorial Day weekend, and after that....sweet, sweet summer. Oh how I love the word! Can't wait for it!
Different factors contribute to the overall decline in participation, focus, preparation and overall sense of "care". For students, as the weather gets warmer their minds get lazier. They start staring out the window a little more and it takes an extra 5 minutes to get them inside after recess. Some of them are dreaming about baseball practice, some of them are thinking about tanning, and the rest are either counting down until the last day of school or they're counting the number of tiles in the ceiling. For teachers, what really tends to make the days drag on and seem stressier than usual is usually the craziness and lack of focus in their students (judging solely from a random sampling of my coworkers, that is).
Once the kids start to lose focus and stop caring, it's hard as hell for teachers to keep it up! Personally, I start to think, "If they don't care, why should I?" All of a sudden I find I'm grading a little harsher and I'm snapping on students earlier than I did in the fall semester. It's not that I don't like the kids, far from it! It's just enormously depressing and stressing to feel like the only one out of 30 people who gives a hoot.
The problem with Spring is that there are SO. MANY. DISTRACTIONS. I'm sure it's different in climates that experience fewer differences in seasons, but living in Chicago is a nightmare. In the fall, the kids turn psycho the first time it snows. In the spring, they lose it on the first warm day. Not only that, but in the fall you have the knowledge that each warm day could be the last one. In the spring the days just get warmer and warmer and the kids inherently know that summer is coming. (Believe you me, they aren't the only ones. I've already got a countdown going on my desk calendar in my room. Each morning I cross off another day and count my blessings. ) As the days get warmer, the kids start itching to get outside and forget all about school. That's so draining on a teacher. Suddenly I start feeling like I have to dig a little deeper in my bag of tricks to get and keep their attention. "I WILL find a way to maintain order! I WILL!" Oy vey.
There are always ways to discipline kids, of course, but the closer it gets to the end of the year the more it seems pointless. You can give a kid so many detentions but sooner or later you'll run out of time. No one's crazy enough to demand a student show up after the school year has ended, and some parents would be angry enough to start World War Three in my classroom if I kept a student beyond the required number of days. Especially in the area I teach in, many parents and families spend the summers in Mexico, Texas, California, or Puerto Rico (or wherever) with family. By the last days of school plane tickets have been ordered, hotel rooms have been booked, families have been notified, and al the plans have been made. Asking/demanding them to stay without plenty of notice (more than a month in some instances) doesn't solve any problems and asking the wrong parent can turn the child against you and make the last days hellish.
When student behavior starts to turn, I've found that calling a parent early on helps. The parent is at least aware of the situation and can possibly work out a compromise with you. Regular phone or in person conferencing keeps the parent aware of the situation and the student can at least know that the teacher and the parents are speaking and any major infractions will be imparted to the parents. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but it can't hurt!
When dealing with younger students, I almost hate to say it, I do stickers. Seriously. Whoever invented the sticker is a demi-god. Kids respond so well to stickers and sticker charts it's beyond ridiculous. It starts to wear off around the middle of 3rd grade, but from Pre-K to 3rd stickers are my go-to. Each student gets a sticker chart with his/her name on it and they get one sticker per day provided their behavior is good. They start comparing charts and counting their stickers and suddenly they're motivated again! It's a miracle.
As for me, I'm just hanging in there. I'm well into the single digit countdown for spring break! After that, it's a few weeks before Memorial Day weekend, and after that....sweet, sweet summer. Oh how I love the word! Can't wait for it!
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Report Card time, a.k.a. YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
I wish that teachers never had to give report cards. I really do. It's time consuming and irritating, to be topped only by the day-long marathon they call Parent/Teacher(/Student) conferences. Blech. Calculating grades is time consuming and I hate doing it, therefore I don't do it unless I have to or I'm asked by a student what grade they're currently earning (or not earning).
It's depressing, too. Unfortunately it's living proof that they aren't getting it. While that's not always the fault of the teacher, it's still really depressing. Annoyingly so, in fact. You, as an educator, have to come face to face with the fact that no matter what you did, no matter how many hours you spent with the child, you still didn't 'do it' and they still didn't 'get it'. Ugh. Who needs that?
For someone in my position, Parent/Teacher conferences are always awkward and annoying. You're an 'extra' teacher and many parents don't even bother to try and meet you at the beginning of the year. However, the ones you do end up meeting are usually pretty pissed at you once they show up--typically at conferences. 9 times out of 10 parents come to me wanting a darn good explanation as to why Jr. didn't get a decent grade. Once I show them the proof in the numbers, they either turn the tables on Jr. and demand they take responsibility for their grades, or they're still pissed at me and essentially demand I change their child's grade. (Those are typically the parents who always, always believe the child over the teacher and usually believe the teacher is in fact 'picking on' their child for whatever reason.)
In the past I've just let the parents come to me, but the ones who SHOULD don't always come. On occassion you get the parent who is confused as to why their child received a B--shouldn't they be getting an A in this subject? It's supposed to be easy, right? This quarter, I am requesting to meet with certain parents and students. If anything it will keep me a little busier during the 7-hour conference marathon, and I'll really be able to talk to the parents whose children I'm concerned for. However, just because they're scheduled doesn't mean they'll show up. I'm not sure which will be more annoying--being blown off by the schedule, or just being ignored all afternoon. I guess I'll find out.
It's depressing, too. Unfortunately it's living proof that they aren't getting it. While that's not always the fault of the teacher, it's still really depressing. Annoyingly so, in fact. You, as an educator, have to come face to face with the fact that no matter what you did, no matter how many hours you spent with the child, you still didn't 'do it' and they still didn't 'get it'. Ugh. Who needs that?
For someone in my position, Parent/Teacher conferences are always awkward and annoying. You're an 'extra' teacher and many parents don't even bother to try and meet you at the beginning of the year. However, the ones you do end up meeting are usually pretty pissed at you once they show up--typically at conferences. 9 times out of 10 parents come to me wanting a darn good explanation as to why Jr. didn't get a decent grade. Once I show them the proof in the numbers, they either turn the tables on Jr. and demand they take responsibility for their grades, or they're still pissed at me and essentially demand I change their child's grade. (Those are typically the parents who always, always believe the child over the teacher and usually believe the teacher is in fact 'picking on' their child for whatever reason.)
In the past I've just let the parents come to me, but the ones who SHOULD don't always come. On occassion you get the parent who is confused as to why their child received a B--shouldn't they be getting an A in this subject? It's supposed to be easy, right? This quarter, I am requesting to meet with certain parents and students. If anything it will keep me a little busier during the 7-hour conference marathon, and I'll really be able to talk to the parents whose children I'm concerned for. However, just because they're scheduled doesn't mean they'll show up. I'm not sure which will be more annoying--being blown off by the schedule, or just being ignored all afternoon. I guess I'll find out.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Sleep, and the lack thereof
I'm tired today. I've been having trouble sleeping lately, and it's finally caught up to me at work. You know it's bad when you have 2 cups of coffee and feel like it hasn't made a lick of difference.
Not sleeping well when you're an educator has fast and adverse effects. For example, when the morning bell rang, it barely registered with me that I had just 25 minutes to prepare for the day before my classes started coming in. Where the hell did the previous 20 minutes go? I had copies to make! Lessons to prepare! Coffee to drink! To say that I've felt behind all day is a classic understatement.
My last class was hell. Almost literal hell. 35 kids came in screaming and running and only a handful of them were prepared. Now, for a class of 9 and 10 year olds you sort of expect that energy and crazed example of life on speed right before lunch. But to see dozens of kids not even turn their heads when you start to speak really turns my stomach. I wasn't in the mood to fight it, so I worked with the kids who were ready to work and actually paying attention. I'm sure a few kids thought it was great, because they didn't HAVE to be working. But they'll probably wish they'd kept their mouths shut and ears open in a few weeks when the workers get rewarded and they have to stay in at recess and finish their assignments. Hey, that's not my fault! It's school policy, man.
Part of the reason I haven't been sleeping is that there's been a bit of 'turmoil' in my personal life. Turmoil is probably an exaggeraton; 'drama' is much more appropriate. See, I've got a few friends who are currently butting heads (to put it mildly) and I got caught in the middle of it. For a few days last week it was all I could think about for a few days and I was seriously distracted. Sleeping was difficult, and I slept pretty fiercly over the weekend. Sleeping it off helped, but on Monday night it seemed my difficulty sleeping (either falling asleep or just staying asleep, dammit) was back. Last night (Monday to Tuesday) I woke up THREE TIMES. That's like 6 times in teacher hours. I'm totally drained because of it, and it's hard to care when kids start bothering one another. On days like today, I figure that as long as no one leaves here bleeding from the head, they can bother each other and I really couldn't care one way or the other.
A helpful trick I've found is to have extra worksheets and projects on hand for days like today. Sometimes the kids need a break, and giving them something easy yet time-consuming is a good deal. You can spend a few minutes with one eye on them and one eye closed. Probably not the best strategy, but there isn't a teacher alive who won't nod knowingly when you say, "I just needed a few minutes...."
Aside from forcing yourself to get some more sleep, there are few ways to get past that feeling that makes you want to curl up into the fetal position and take a nap under your desk. I've found that a couple Tylenol PM or Unisom can work wonders if sleep is an issue for you but you don't want to become known as the teacher dependent on sleep aids. :-) Adjusting your body is tough. During the summer months I can stay awake as long as I darn well please and not think about it. But suddenly it's the night before the first day of school and I have no idea how to fall asleep before 2:00 a.m. and NO idea how to wake up before noon. Uh oh.
If anyone reading this has trouble sleeping or finds themselves in a classroom with 30 anxious pairs of eyes waiting to glean knowledge from your overstuffed brain, chill. Relax. Stressing about not sleeping, in my experiences, makes it worse. Take some unisom or another sleep aid, take a shower, and relax in bed. Try that for a week or two and see if your body takes over on its own. Your kids will rebound, and you'll find you're much more productive on a few good nights of sleep than one night of no sleep.
Not sleeping well when you're an educator has fast and adverse effects. For example, when the morning bell rang, it barely registered with me that I had just 25 minutes to prepare for the day before my classes started coming in. Where the hell did the previous 20 minutes go? I had copies to make! Lessons to prepare! Coffee to drink! To say that I've felt behind all day is a classic understatement.
My last class was hell. Almost literal hell. 35 kids came in screaming and running and only a handful of them were prepared. Now, for a class of 9 and 10 year olds you sort of expect that energy and crazed example of life on speed right before lunch. But to see dozens of kids not even turn their heads when you start to speak really turns my stomach. I wasn't in the mood to fight it, so I worked with the kids who were ready to work and actually paying attention. I'm sure a few kids thought it was great, because they didn't HAVE to be working. But they'll probably wish they'd kept their mouths shut and ears open in a few weeks when the workers get rewarded and they have to stay in at recess and finish their assignments. Hey, that's not my fault! It's school policy, man.
Part of the reason I haven't been sleeping is that there's been a bit of 'turmoil' in my personal life. Turmoil is probably an exaggeraton; 'drama' is much more appropriate. See, I've got a few friends who are currently butting heads (to put it mildly) and I got caught in the middle of it. For a few days last week it was all I could think about for a few days and I was seriously distracted. Sleeping was difficult, and I slept pretty fiercly over the weekend. Sleeping it off helped, but on Monday night it seemed my difficulty sleeping (either falling asleep or just staying asleep, dammit) was back. Last night (Monday to Tuesday) I woke up THREE TIMES. That's like 6 times in teacher hours. I'm totally drained because of it, and it's hard to care when kids start bothering one another. On days like today, I figure that as long as no one leaves here bleeding from the head, they can bother each other and I really couldn't care one way or the other.
A helpful trick I've found is to have extra worksheets and projects on hand for days like today. Sometimes the kids need a break, and giving them something easy yet time-consuming is a good deal. You can spend a few minutes with one eye on them and one eye closed. Probably not the best strategy, but there isn't a teacher alive who won't nod knowingly when you say, "I just needed a few minutes...."
Aside from forcing yourself to get some more sleep, there are few ways to get past that feeling that makes you want to curl up into the fetal position and take a nap under your desk. I've found that a couple Tylenol PM or Unisom can work wonders if sleep is an issue for you but you don't want to become known as the teacher dependent on sleep aids. :-) Adjusting your body is tough. During the summer months I can stay awake as long as I darn well please and not think about it. But suddenly it's the night before the first day of school and I have no idea how to fall asleep before 2:00 a.m. and NO idea how to wake up before noon. Uh oh.
If anyone reading this has trouble sleeping or finds themselves in a classroom with 30 anxious pairs of eyes waiting to glean knowledge from your overstuffed brain, chill. Relax. Stressing about not sleeping, in my experiences, makes it worse. Take some unisom or another sleep aid, take a shower, and relax in bed. Try that for a week or two and see if your body takes over on its own. Your kids will rebound, and you'll find you're much more productive on a few good nights of sleep than one night of no sleep.
Thursday, February 5, 2009
Dealing with THAT student
Every teacher has one. THAT student. The kid who doesn't do his homework, has a trillion missing assignments, thirty demerits a quarter, makes excuses for all his (or her) behavior, and doesn't do a damn thing about it.
I've encountered a couple of "those" kids in my short career as a teacher, and they never get any easier. They're always the kids with the smartass answer and the glint in their eye. You know, the one that says, "Ha! I'm smarter than you!"
Trying to teach THOSE kids are hard, because they generally make it impossible to teach the rest of the class. For example, right now I'm teaching one and he likes to repeat or comment on everything I say. Seriously, everything. It's impossible to replicate because he talks so fast that I can't always hear his comments, just murmers.
It's hard for me to say that in order to effectively teach this student you need to have a good working relationship with the parents. That's tricky. Sometimes the student becomes THAT kid because the parents aren't involved in his or her life. Sometimes the parents are too involved, sometimes there's a new sibling at home. Sometimes the parents don't even know what the influence is. And sometimes, the parents make it worse because they make excuses for their child.
When parents make excuses for their kids, you're pretty much at an impasse. They don't want to put their son on medication because "it makes him sleepy." They don't want their daughter to see a counselor because "She doesn't need it". They don't want to accept lower grades for their kids because, "He's a good kid, he just didn't know the assignment needed to be turned in." Ugh. I'm not going to say putting your child on medication is the first option. In many cases it isn't and I believe there are kids who are on meds who really don't need to be taking anything. But I do believe that if a student is showing signs of aggression, passively or actively, they need to see a counselor and perhaps be tested. Students who obsessively and purposely stop the teacher from teaching hurt the class and hurt themselves.
Naturally, it's easy for me to say, "Don't you want to help your child?" I'm not a parent. I go home after school to a child-free zone. I can sit on my high horse and say, "That kid needs meds," and "That kid needs therapy" without thinking about how I would react if someone said to me, "Your daughter is out of control and needs ritalin NOW." Parents generally DO want what's best for their child, and they do want to help, but on their terms. Fortunately (and unfortunately for teachers sometimes) it's their right as a parent and we in the system can only do so much and go so far without their help.
If a parent is open to testing and counseling for a student who needs it, awesome! You are well on your way to a productive working relationship for the benefit for the student. If you, the parents, the counselor, and the student can all work together and have some lines of open communication there's no reason the student can't succeed. As long as there's constant cooperation, the student can turn it around. You might not see a complete 180, but I'm generally happy with a 90 degree turn. I've found I can ignore a student talking constantly if the work is coming in and is generally pretty good. That works for me, but it doesn't work for everyone.
If a parent isn't open to testing and/or counseling, your hands are pretty much tied. You can only do so much without their help. If the parents are being especially difficult, ("He never had these problems until he went into YOUR class!") you can count on the student becoming worse. Sometimes I think parents aren't thinking when they talk to their children. What kind of message does it send when you are trying to find a way to get a student to focus and she goes home to hear, "You're not the problem, you've just got a bad teacher,"? The student is in constant struggle with the adults in her life and will probably go along with whatever she hears at home.
Once last year I had a parent approach me at parent-teacher conferences and demand to know why his child failed. I explained that I'd sent notes home (notes that never actually made it home) and my phone calls were never returned. When I gave the child a failing grade on a progress report, no comment was made and no effort to contact me was given on the part of the parents. Since the student wasn't doing ANY work that quarter, what choice did I have? I had 2 or 3 assignments turned in from the student, and all of them were incomplete. The rest of the work never came to me. As a parent, I would be livid, especially if I didn't know that my child was failing, so I understand the parents wanting to speak with me. However, I didn't appreciate that the "conference" was more the parent yelling at me and telling me that I had no business giving his child a failing grade. "Well who are you to fail my child?" Even after I showed him my gradebook, the parent countered with, "But [my child] is so smart!"
Ugh. I felt like shouting, "Yes! Your child is a genius because you are now convinced that the failing grade is the result of my personal feelings for your kid, and certainly not because your kid doesn't do a damn thing in my classroom!" When I pointed out the empty boxes in my gradebook, the student insisted that the work was complete and turned in. I handed the student a pile of work that was graded and waiting to be returned and asked him/her to find it. The student couldn't. The parent then insisted I lost all his child's work. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am not "organized" in the traditional sense. My desk is a pile of papers that is precariously balanced and might fall to the floor at any time. However, I try to make a point of getting through that pile at least once a week to grade and return work and file away handouts and worksheets. I admitted that it was possible I had misplaced an assignment or two, but 25 assignments? Please. Even I'm not that bad.
As a teacher new to the elementary scene, I felt that in this situation it was better to involve my boss. I haaaaaaaaate having to call on the principal; I feel like I'm a newbie who doesn't know what to do so she runs to the principal to fix it. Thankfully, my boss doesn't always mind when newer teachers are stuck and don't know what to do. I felt that involving her to at least mediate the meeting was a better option than my constant repeating, "Yes, but your child didn't do the work...." It was an awkward meeting, but the parents basically ended the meeting by saying, "Okay, we'll do a better job of asking how the day went." Well, that's a start, but do you honestly think your child is going to open up and say, "Well, lunch was good, but I didn't turn in any work in English, Science, or Math and I definitely don't intend to." Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I don't mean to sound to cynical, but I've definitely been put off by negative and uncooperative parents. I start to imagine how I'd respond to that situation if it were my daughter or son. Would I really argue the teacher? Would I really insist that the teacher lost every assignment? I don't know. I like to imagine I'd never be that way, but how can I say that? If you love your kids and want the best for them, it's only natural that you'd want to believe them. After all, you raise them and live with them. How can you possibly be blind to their behavior? As a parent, you want to believe that your child isn't lying to you.
Even when parents aren't open to communication or testing or therapy or whatever, it's important to keep the communication constant. Sending notes home and calling are good means to keep in touch with parents, even if they don't like it. If they have constant-enough feedback, they're more likely to start asking questions before the next problem arises.
One of my coworkers has "purple sheets" for her students. Each month she creates a new sheet for each student and creates a calendar with 4 weeks on it, and she has a box marked for participation, work turned in, test grades, etc. To make it easy on herself, to fill out each box she merely writes a plus sign for great, a negative sign for not great, or a dot to indicate "satisfactory". It goes home on a Thursday and must come home signed on a Friday (so it doesn't get lost over the weekend). Parents really seem to like it because they can see how their child is doing that week and can write comments on the sheets if they are concerned or pleased with their child's progress. Personally, I think this is a great idea. While filling out the sheets takes a bit of time, it's not overly complicated and parents can see if their student is missing any work that week, especially if grades are an issue.
Teachers are constantly trying to figure out THAT student. At lunch at least once a week someone will ask, "How has THAT student been?" and usually the rest of the room will roll their eyes. Isn't that terrible? As teachers we try to figure out a way to help THOSE kids but eventually, after students and parents stand in the way, we're reduced to rolling our eyes and saying, "Same as always." Personally, I hate that. I hate to fail and I hate to feel as though I'm failing a student. I teach in a high-needs, at-risk school. So many of our students are at risk for joining gangs or dropping out of high school. Few will finish, if even attend, college. For kids with so few educational years ahead of them, I don't want to feel like I'm failing in what little time they have left.
I guess this post isn't so much a "strategy" or plan of attack for struggling teachers as it is a sad reality. In my first year of teaching THAT student, I felt like I was failing. I felt like I was the problem and I didn't even stop to think that the student and parents were standing in my way. Now I know better, but that isn't the case for every student. Sometimes the parent isn't standing in the way, and sometimes it is you. When that's the case, it blows. It blows a lot. In my limited experience, the only thing I have to say is that you need to figure out what the problem actually is and work on it. That's not a simple solution, and it's humbling to have to admit that you're not as good at your job as you thought. I haaaaaaaaaaate having to admit that, and I usually have to admit that to myself after a few good/decent days because the next day I will have the day. from. hell.
The best advice I have is to figure out a strategy that works for you and your students. It's not ideal, but the best way to figure out the solution to a problem is to attack it in your classroom with your ideas, not ideas spoon fed from a textbook. Trust me on the textbooks. They're great resources, but they're not standing in front of a class ready to teach.
I've encountered a couple of "those" kids in my short career as a teacher, and they never get any easier. They're always the kids with the smartass answer and the glint in their eye. You know, the one that says, "Ha! I'm smarter than you!"
Trying to teach THOSE kids are hard, because they generally make it impossible to teach the rest of the class. For example, right now I'm teaching one and he likes to repeat or comment on everything I say. Seriously, everything. It's impossible to replicate because he talks so fast that I can't always hear his comments, just murmers.
It's hard for me to say that in order to effectively teach this student you need to have a good working relationship with the parents. That's tricky. Sometimes the student becomes THAT kid because the parents aren't involved in his or her life. Sometimes the parents are too involved, sometimes there's a new sibling at home. Sometimes the parents don't even know what the influence is. And sometimes, the parents make it worse because they make excuses for their child.
When parents make excuses for their kids, you're pretty much at an impasse. They don't want to put their son on medication because "it makes him sleepy." They don't want their daughter to see a counselor because "She doesn't need it". They don't want to accept lower grades for their kids because, "He's a good kid, he just didn't know the assignment needed to be turned in." Ugh. I'm not going to say putting your child on medication is the first option. In many cases it isn't and I believe there are kids who are on meds who really don't need to be taking anything. But I do believe that if a student is showing signs of aggression, passively or actively, they need to see a counselor and perhaps be tested. Students who obsessively and purposely stop the teacher from teaching hurt the class and hurt themselves.
Naturally, it's easy for me to say, "Don't you want to help your child?" I'm not a parent. I go home after school to a child-free zone. I can sit on my high horse and say, "That kid needs meds," and "That kid needs therapy" without thinking about how I would react if someone said to me, "Your daughter is out of control and needs ritalin NOW." Parents generally DO want what's best for their child, and they do want to help, but on their terms. Fortunately (and unfortunately for teachers sometimes) it's their right as a parent and we in the system can only do so much and go so far without their help.
If a parent is open to testing and counseling for a student who needs it, awesome! You are well on your way to a productive working relationship for the benefit for the student. If you, the parents, the counselor, and the student can all work together and have some lines of open communication there's no reason the student can't succeed. As long as there's constant cooperation, the student can turn it around. You might not see a complete 180, but I'm generally happy with a 90 degree turn. I've found I can ignore a student talking constantly if the work is coming in and is generally pretty good. That works for me, but it doesn't work for everyone.
If a parent isn't open to testing and/or counseling, your hands are pretty much tied. You can only do so much without their help. If the parents are being especially difficult, ("He never had these problems until he went into YOUR class!") you can count on the student becoming worse. Sometimes I think parents aren't thinking when they talk to their children. What kind of message does it send when you are trying to find a way to get a student to focus and she goes home to hear, "You're not the problem, you've just got a bad teacher,"? The student is in constant struggle with the adults in her life and will probably go along with whatever she hears at home.
Once last year I had a parent approach me at parent-teacher conferences and demand to know why his child failed. I explained that I'd sent notes home (notes that never actually made it home) and my phone calls were never returned. When I gave the child a failing grade on a progress report, no comment was made and no effort to contact me was given on the part of the parents. Since the student wasn't doing ANY work that quarter, what choice did I have? I had 2 or 3 assignments turned in from the student, and all of them were incomplete. The rest of the work never came to me. As a parent, I would be livid, especially if I didn't know that my child was failing, so I understand the parents wanting to speak with me. However, I didn't appreciate that the "conference" was more the parent yelling at me and telling me that I had no business giving his child a failing grade. "Well who are you to fail my child?" Even after I showed him my gradebook, the parent countered with, "But [my child] is so smart!"
Ugh. I felt like shouting, "Yes! Your child is a genius because you are now convinced that the failing grade is the result of my personal feelings for your kid, and certainly not because your kid doesn't do a damn thing in my classroom!" When I pointed out the empty boxes in my gradebook, the student insisted that the work was complete and turned in. I handed the student a pile of work that was graded and waiting to be returned and asked him/her to find it. The student couldn't. The parent then insisted I lost all his child's work. Now, I will be the first to admit that I am not "organized" in the traditional sense. My desk is a pile of papers that is precariously balanced and might fall to the floor at any time. However, I try to make a point of getting through that pile at least once a week to grade and return work and file away handouts and worksheets. I admitted that it was possible I had misplaced an assignment or two, but 25 assignments? Please. Even I'm not that bad.
As a teacher new to the elementary scene, I felt that in this situation it was better to involve my boss. I haaaaaaaaate having to call on the principal; I feel like I'm a newbie who doesn't know what to do so she runs to the principal to fix it. Thankfully, my boss doesn't always mind when newer teachers are stuck and don't know what to do. I felt that involving her to at least mediate the meeting was a better option than my constant repeating, "Yes, but your child didn't do the work...." It was an awkward meeting, but the parents basically ended the meeting by saying, "Okay, we'll do a better job of asking how the day went." Well, that's a start, but do you honestly think your child is going to open up and say, "Well, lunch was good, but I didn't turn in any work in English, Science, or Math and I definitely don't intend to." Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.
I don't mean to sound to cynical, but I've definitely been put off by negative and uncooperative parents. I start to imagine how I'd respond to that situation if it were my daughter or son. Would I really argue the teacher? Would I really insist that the teacher lost every assignment? I don't know. I like to imagine I'd never be that way, but how can I say that? If you love your kids and want the best for them, it's only natural that you'd want to believe them. After all, you raise them and live with them. How can you possibly be blind to their behavior? As a parent, you want to believe that your child isn't lying to you.
Even when parents aren't open to communication or testing or therapy or whatever, it's important to keep the communication constant. Sending notes home and calling are good means to keep in touch with parents, even if they don't like it. If they have constant-enough feedback, they're more likely to start asking questions before the next problem arises.
One of my coworkers has "purple sheets" for her students. Each month she creates a new sheet for each student and creates a calendar with 4 weeks on it, and she has a box marked for participation, work turned in, test grades, etc. To make it easy on herself, to fill out each box she merely writes a plus sign for great, a negative sign for not great, or a dot to indicate "satisfactory". It goes home on a Thursday and must come home signed on a Friday (so it doesn't get lost over the weekend). Parents really seem to like it because they can see how their child is doing that week and can write comments on the sheets if they are concerned or pleased with their child's progress. Personally, I think this is a great idea. While filling out the sheets takes a bit of time, it's not overly complicated and parents can see if their student is missing any work that week, especially if grades are an issue.
Teachers are constantly trying to figure out THAT student. At lunch at least once a week someone will ask, "How has THAT student been?" and usually the rest of the room will roll their eyes. Isn't that terrible? As teachers we try to figure out a way to help THOSE kids but eventually, after students and parents stand in the way, we're reduced to rolling our eyes and saying, "Same as always." Personally, I hate that. I hate to fail and I hate to feel as though I'm failing a student. I teach in a high-needs, at-risk school. So many of our students are at risk for joining gangs or dropping out of high school. Few will finish, if even attend, college. For kids with so few educational years ahead of them, I don't want to feel like I'm failing in what little time they have left.
I guess this post isn't so much a "strategy" or plan of attack for struggling teachers as it is a sad reality. In my first year of teaching THAT student, I felt like I was failing. I felt like I was the problem and I didn't even stop to think that the student and parents were standing in my way. Now I know better, but that isn't the case for every student. Sometimes the parent isn't standing in the way, and sometimes it is you. When that's the case, it blows. It blows a lot. In my limited experience, the only thing I have to say is that you need to figure out what the problem actually is and work on it. That's not a simple solution, and it's humbling to have to admit that you're not as good at your job as you thought. I haaaaaaaaaaate having to admit that, and I usually have to admit that to myself after a few good/decent days because the next day I will have the day. from. hell.
The best advice I have is to figure out a strategy that works for you and your students. It's not ideal, but the best way to figure out the solution to a problem is to attack it in your classroom with your ideas, not ideas spoon fed from a textbook. Trust me on the textbooks. They're great resources, but they're not standing in front of a class ready to teach.
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