What have I learned?

It's around this time of year that I start thinking about how I've grown as an educator over the past year. How am I better than I was at this time last year? How can I improve for next year?

1. Bathroom passes are a life saver. They make it so much easier to keep track of kids and keep "problems" from happening in the bathrooms.

2. A teacher webpage is a necessity and is awesome for keeping in touch with parents and making it pretty darn impossible for kids to say they "lost" a handout or worksheet when they have 24/7 access to it on my webpage.

3. There will always be "those kids" and "those parents" who give me "those migraines".

4. Consistency is key.

5. Given my position in the school, there will always be projects that are dumped on me last minute, but keeping myself organized is going to be the best way to keep myself from going crazy.

6. Kids can learn and thrive in the strangest of places.

7. Given enough time and patience, even the kids you thought were clueless or helpless can progress.

8. Having a box to pass back work is the BEST idea I ever had.

9. I'm much stronger than I was a year ago.

10. Professional Development can be a huge pain, but totally worth it and really helps you find the best ways to help your students.

Interesting realization

I'd actually come to this conclusion long ago, and it might even be offensive to some, but I'm willing to share it here and see who comments (or doesn't).

Teaching is what keeps me from wanting kids. As long as I'm a teacher, I will not have a child (on purpose).

Allow me to explain.

I love kids, I really do. But being around them allllll daaaaaaaaaaaaaay is a workout in itself. I can't spend all day with kids and then go home and give my kids the attention they deserve. It's just not gonna happen. I'm too exhausted by the end of the school day to come home and play with a toddler.

I'm sure that if the situation presented itself I'd feel differently. From what I've heard, most moms count the hours so they can get back to their little ones and resent that they aren't the SAHM they never wanted to be until now. And when it's your child, almost every movement and sound is precious, and not the obnoxious moans and movements made by an 8th grader who's been ready to graduate since July.

However, at this moment in time, I really think that teaching has kept me from wanting to get knocked up. When I come home, it's quiet. It's a glorious, wonderful quiet. Just the low hum of the fish tank and the rumble of the trains rolling by. My oh my is it wonderful!

I'm sure the time will come when teaching just won't keep those pangs at bay and then I'll have some serious decisions to make. (or heck! Maybe they'll have been made for me!) Do I want to wake up with a child, go to work and be surrounded by hundreds of kids, go home to another one or two, and fall asleep only to wake up 2 hours later to feed a child?

To me, that sounds like hell. But that's rightnow. Maybe someday rightnow will fade into backthen and rightnow will mean Iwantababyrightnow. Hell, it almost has to, right? Just about all the married teachers at my school have kids, and some have grandkids. AND they're still teaching! That says something, doesn't it? It says you love your job, and you love it so much that you're willing to keep going despite all the worries that float through your mind. It says that determination can help you do a lot. It says that teaching kids can't keep having your own kids on the backburner forever. And to me, it says that even though you're around kids all the time, the desire to have your own is greater than all the evidence that tells you to close up shop and give up that little pipe dream.

I don't know. All I do know is that when the quiet that waits for me when I get home is pure, unadulterated bliss. Or is that unachilderated? Whatever. Bliss is bliss.

A disclaimer

I came to the realization last night that I probably sound like Negative Nancy in my last few blog posts. I don't mean to. I really do enjoy my job and I love working with the kids. I tend to get burned out this time of year and I get frustrated by the lack of care that the kids start to show.

It's hard when you feel like you're up against the world. Sometimes I start to wonder if there's any good reason to not just hand out As for everyone and call it a day. I have to admit I'm frightened of parents and students who get angry with me. If they were really mad at me, all they'd have to do is go to the authorities and say I did or said something that I really didn't do and my career is over. Forget my job, something truly horiffic could wreck the rest of my life! I might as well save myself and give everyone an A just to protect myself.

But, that being said, I really don't hate my job. I'm just getting a little burned out and I need some time off to clear my head and remember that I LIKE what I'm doing!

Follow up

I'm feeling better today. I took some Tylenol PM and was knocked out about an hour later. I'll probably take some more tonight so I can train my body to sleep for the next few days. One thing's for sure...waking up was hard with sleep meds still in my system. I feel like I might need to take them earlier so they've worn off by the time I need to wake up. I was fighting with my body this morning, and sleep kept winning.

Waking up rested makes a world of difference. This time yesterday I felt like crawling into a hole and sleeping. Now I'm still a bit tired, but I'm aware of time and space. Awesome.

Off to teach the little ones. Only 20 days till Spring Break!

Good morning, class...

I've been meaning to start this for a while, but I guess now is as good a time as ever.

My name is Angie, and I am a teacher, probably in the loosest sense of the word. I've been teaching in an inner-city elementary school since August 2007 after working for 1 year at Woodlands Academy of the Sacred Heart. I teach computer science to Preschool-8th grade, but my training was in English-Secondary Education. Life's funny, isn't it?

I feel some days as though I fell into teaching by accident, and sometimes I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing or why I'm still here. Other days are great and I never want to do anything else. Some days I want to run screaming from my classroom, pulling out my hair as I run down the street. Sometimes I really like my job and know exactly why I'm here.

This blog will talk about a bunch of different things...my favorite websites, stories about my day, learning experiences, different assignments, WTF moments, etc. Some days it might be a rant about how much I hate my job. Other days it might be a rave about the "teacher moments" I had. In May, look forward to the "END OF SCHOOL" countdown. For the most part this is personal, but if anyone takes anything away from this, positive or negative, so be it.